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TIFU by thinking it was just period cramps.

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TIFU by a proverb about "someone at age 70 is practically dead" and all this happened on my wife's grandma's 70th birthday

This has not happened today, was about 15 years ago, and some of you probably read my viral story about a haunted laptop, I am not native english speaker so there will be grammar and language mistakes here and there.

I was working late on a Saturday afternoon, when my wife's grandma's 70th birthday party happened.

I was driving from my workplace to "grandma's" house, tried to be quick, and I found myself behind an old lady with a red Skoda 105. I was not able to overtake her for about a good 20 minutes on a narrow road, and followed her at a speed of about 10mph/15kmh on a road that you could go by 50. I was very angry, and probably shouting in my car all the way there, as got a text message from my wife that they are waiting for me to get the birthday cake out and sing the "Happy birthday" together. I told them I will be there in 15 minutes and about 20 already gone, I was still miles away...

Finally I got there, they were not happy, about 20 people been waiting over half an hour only because I am late. That part of the family is very strict if it's about timing... I was not new to the family, but I was not liked by most of them, because one of my ex girlfriend worked for them and told them nasty stories about me that was not true, just because jealousy. It was about drugs, beating women's, etc that was not at all involved in my life... So they were generally not happy for my attendance anyway. Only few people knew me and that was my wife, her mother, her father... The others I think believed everything that they were told, so I was the devil...

I was step in the room, the whole house went silent, and I felt a bit uncomfortable, and said this proverb out loud: "I am so sorry I am late, but there was an old lady between 70 and death driving so slow and I was stuck behind her..." well.... I probably heard a spider in one of the corner hiding away into a wall crack, then a fly trying to escape through a window behind the curtains, but that was it for a very long about 10 seconds ... Only person tried to hold a bit of laugh back was my mother in law, but I am sure she felt my pain also when I looked on the long laid table and there was a big birthday cake with a huge 70 sign on the middle of it...

Needless to say the party got a bit ruined by me and it took me about 5 years from that moment to prove everyone I am not a bad person...

TL;DR There is a saying in my country, in Hungary: "Between 70 and death", and I used this proverb on a 70th birthday party

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