Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU Holding it all the way to the bus terminal and ending up popping a hemorrhoid

Thursday, my dumb ass woke up late and missed the bus into town. So, I waited for the next bus into town and of all the rotten weeks I had to make poo-poo. But, I couldn’t just turn back home and make poop, my bus was coming. I couldn’t hold it and yet my dumbass had to hold it. I held my shit pipe on the bus all the way to the bus terminal and when I finally let that doo-doo and went to wipe, I had big time blood and shit on the toilet paper on top of a popped blood clot on the toilet paper. I literally tried to go through the day, paying no mind to the fact I was bleeding near my asshole. When I finally made it home, I took a shower because I felt dirty and put on fresh pajamas. When my aunt made dinner and I sat on the chair, and Jesus H Christ it looked like I sat on cherries and stained that poor chair. I ate dinner and my aunt took me to the hospital. Nearly 7 fucking hours waiting in the hospital and my bleeding stopped while I waited. When I finally got seen by a doctor, he told me it wasn’t anything serious it was a hemorrhoid. But my dumbass had to wait an hour and a half more just for the nurse to give me a pill and my discharge papers. I don’t recommend waiting in the emergency room while bleeding out the asshole because with all do respect, emergency room workers really don’t act like the namesake of the part of the hospital. TL;DR:Maybe it's not such a good idea to hold it when you really have to go, especially if you have hemorrhoids

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more