Skip to main content

TIFU by crushing my boyfriend's balls in my sleep

Posting on mobile so I'm sorry for any formatting issues. Posting on a throw away

TIFU by crushing my boyfriend's balls in my sleep,

My boyfriend and I were in bed on a nice relaxing Sunday morning, neither of us had work or tasks that needed to be done today. So we were taking it easy, having a little bit of a sleep in.

My boyfriend always wakes up earlier than me, and usually spends that time cuddling me, while scratching my head and browsing Reddit on his phone.

I was half asleep, and thought this would be the perfect time to massage his balls and have some lazy Sunday morning sex together. But I didn't realize how tired I still was, and I fell asleep while cradling his balls.

So there I am, asleep and suddenly for the first time in my life I get jolted awake from feeling like I'm falling, I've never had this feeling before, so it was quite frightening. I was panicking. At the same time my boyfriend was making panicking noises, not the type of noises you would expect from someone comforting you.

It turns out that when I woke up thinking I was falling, I proceeded to use all my strength that I didn't even know I had and squeezed his balls, I grabbed onto his balls because I thought I was falling and grabbing something to stop the falling. Unfortunately, this was his balls.

He's screaming I'm screaming We're both screaming The cat, not screaming for once.

I began comforting him and he told me what happened from his perspective, I'd started massaging his balls, fell asleep and I was asleep for a good 20 minutes. I was snoring, not heavily but little cute snores. Then all of a sudden I'm making groaning noises, groaning and moaning like I'm scared of something, I'm uncomfortable, I'm doing this for about 5 minutes before I start panicking and squeeze his balls with the strength of 10,000 people.

You're probably thinking to yourself, op, why didn't your boyfriend move your hands off his balls when you were asleep? Because this is never happened before and he thought he was safe from a death grip.

I proceed to spend the rest of the morning comforting him.

To add, about a month ago I was spooning him, It was a Sunday morning again, and I was half asleep. He wanted me to put my leg over him, I lifted my leg and heel kicked his balls unintentionally. I think the lesson we can both learn from this is I'm more dangerous when I'm half asleep than when I'm awake, especially to his balls.

Boyfriend is okay, just a little wounded.

TLDR: fell asleep cradling my boyfriend's balls, thought I was falling in my sleep and grabbed his balls for dear life & accidentally crushing them.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more