TIFU by giving directions

my anxiety and overthinking self is still reeling over this, so might as well just make fun out of this lol. so today, I had plans to hang out with my work crush. it was a nice time overall. all is well throughout right? couldn’t ask for more.

then it comes to dropping me off. I totally blank out cause I’m not usually a passenger princess. lil mistake right? happens to everyone? you would think? Hm think again. You just know anxious thoughts have been waiting their entire life for this moment lol. so it begins.

I chime “im like, so sorry, checked out for a moment, it was actually the next light where my apartment’s at”. the current light we are sitting at is the backside of my complex. they respond with “well, isn’t there where insert our coworker’s name walks to work?” Normally I wouldn’t mind walking (which I did mention), but bro walking at the backside of my apartment feels like it’ll be my last moments on earth lol. Unlike said coworker, I am NOT a big, burly man that people know to avoid by looks alone.

I did ask after if I could be dropped closer to where my place is at. they said it wasn’t a problem, so phew crisis avoided. crisis… avoided??? anxiety style, yeah no. so I started giving directions. well you see, i am not always the best at giving directions. it’s like speaking another language, regardless how clear you think you are. don’t ask me how I made it this far lol.

so I was like “make a right, NOOOno actually…. WAIT make a u-turn— wait! my roommate taught me a trick about getting home… “ with me apologizing to them and thanking them through the mess of it all. My head thought she was clear as hell. But actually the reality is that my work crush is just so fucking confused. I was like “am I making any sense?” and without zero hesistation they said “no”.

heart? shattered and forever embarrassed. like one would normally think, yeah happens…. Like to everyone… so my brain’s embarrassment and anxiousness is kicking in overdrive. My directions got so confusing for them and how I perceived their responses to me… twas not so good in my anxious eyes . legit got just quiet enough that my eyes needed dams to hold it all back. I never have been so excited to leave a vehicle for some reason. in that moment, I really thought my entire life was over lol. you may ask, op why would think that? well, there is a stringing theme in this post… 😭 good news! we found our way back just fine… but welp I’m already feeling dramatic.

anyways, crush broke the silence by saying something. but ofc I had an awkward response cause I’m just trying keep it all in. Then the moment I’ve been waiting for finally comes. Home. I was like “well thanks for the ride, would give you a hug but you’re driving… anyways see you next time”. Fuck, I don’t know what I said cause my brain was concerned with letting the tear ducts go. hey share pleasantries back and I walk into my complex.

minute I got home, called friends and just weeped about how this made cry lol.already thought my chances were hopefully okay, but after this noooooo…. No? the anxious part of me wants to hide next time im on the clock. anyways, to cheer myself I blasted music putting on “im the biggest bird “on repeat. I think a potential bigger fuck up if they ever find this post. well fuck my life I guess lol.

TL;DR: went to meet up with my work crush, they drove me home and I gave confusing directions so I anxiously thought it caused the reason why it got silent. I thought I messed up, so I was holding back tears through awkward phrases until I got home lol.