Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by letting my kid have a massive dose of caffeine.

To start off: yes the kid is ok and yes i called poison control.

So my 10yo kid had been begging me for one of those Cirkul water bottles. It’s a water bottle that has cartridges that you sip through and it’s supposed to last for 6, 20oz bottles of water through it. i bought a bunch of cartridges to go with it and avoided the ones that said “CAFFEINE” on the front. what i didn’t know, was that there were others that had hidden caffeine, equivalent to a few mountain dews or an energy drink.

my kid came bursting into my room FREAKING OUT at 1am saying “i’m dying i’m dying i’m going to die!”. i had no idea wtf was happening. i thought it was a nightmare or something. then they started complaining about symptoms like racing heart and vibrating skin and diarrhea and i got worried. i asked what they had eaten/drank. they told me they just opened a new cartridge of the water and had 2 bottles of it. i pulled the box out of the trash and was terrified when i saw the caffeine content in small print below the ingredients list. i thought it was just flavored water! it wasn’t coffee or anything! since it’s a cartridge i had no clue how much was ACTUALLY consumed.

we called poison control and we figured out the entire amount of caffeine in the cartridge and realized the entire thing wouldn’t be deadly, just uncomfortable. it was a LONG night.

0/10 do not recommend these things.

tl;dr do not buy Cirkul water bottles for young children

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...