TIFU by not getting my wife a Christmas present

My son was in the hospital for 3 months, in a city several hours away. My wife and I took turns staying with him. He nearly died multiple times. It was the hardest scariest time of my life. I had pre-ordered my wife a Christmas present that was supposed to be done and shipped by mid-December. It was not. We came home early December. My son is ok but needs a lot of therapy and PT amongst other things. We are broke. Multiple major appliances broke down and had to be replaced when we were dealing with this crisis. We were able to stay in the hospital, but the travel and food costs were a lot. I was emotionally exhausted and paralyzed. Really I still am, but so is she. I kept telling myself the gift would ship. Her mother sent some packages. I flat out lied to myself and made excuses to not have to make this difficult choice.

Christmas morning comes and there is literally nothing for my wife to open. Even her mother sent combined presents which my daughter promptly opened.

And in the meantime my wife got something thoughtful for everyone. She says it is ok and seems in a good mood. She says the best Christmas gift is to have our son home. Of course she’s right about that, but I still feel like a flaming asshole.

TL;DR I made a lot of excuses not to have to make a difficult search for a gift for my wife, because we’d just been through a traumatic experience and it was too hard. But she managed to do a really good job buying gifts for everyone regardless and I’m a jerk.