TIFU by trying to add novelty lobster oven mitts to my wedding registry. Now I’m rethinking things.

TIFU by trying to add novelty lobster oven mitts to my wedding registry. Now I’m rethinking things.

Oh lord.

I, M(24) met my fiancé F(26) in college, about six years ago.

We were instant sweethearts who bonded over both feeling “out of place” at the fancy California state school we ended up at. Things have been going decently well for years, I love her very very much.

My fiancé has always had some unique quirks, but she has a diagnosed anxiety disorder and is from rural Idaho, so I maybe give her the benefit of the doubt a little bit too often. Something I have been silently aware of is the fact that my fiancé has always been a little weird around black people.

I am white, and so is she, but I was adopted into a black family when I was little, so my whole extended family is black. My best friend “Tim” is also black, we grew up in the same city and were roommates mates the first two years of college.

My fiancé has never liked Tim, despite him being my childhood best friend and someone who is clearly important to me. She’s always said that Tim is too loud or rude to her or that she doesn’t like the way he “smells”. She’s always tried to get me to hang out with other (white) friends over Tim. She even suggested I have HER best friends boyfriend as my best man over Tim. At the time all of these things registered as weird of course, but as I said she’s a very naturally quirky woman who does strange things sometimes. I told her that I still planned on having Tim as my best man, and that was that.

Flash forward to today, and wedding planning has been going great. My three sisters along with my fiancés best friend are going to be bridesmaids, and my wife is supposed to pick out and order bridesmaid dresses by the end of next week. We’ve been having a ton of fun building our wedding registry. We live in a nice house but are working on remodeling the kitchen, so most of our registry is kitchen stuff.

Earlier today, I saw an ad for some hilarious-but-tasteful lobster oven mitts, and I grabbed my wife’s laptop to add them to our wedding registry.

To my absolute horror, when I opened her computer, the browser was opened to a search along the lines of “colors that make black women look ugly”

I looked through her search history. “What colors wash out dark skin” “worst bridesmaids dresses for dark skinned women” literally dozens of searches across these lines.

I closed her laptop and put it back, but I feel like I have to bring it up after she gets home this afternoon. I know it’s “her big day” but this is seriously raising some red flags. I feel like I’m going to throw up but maybe I’m reading too far into things?

TLDR: Tifu by trying to add something to my wedding registry, and was met with my fiancés racially charged search history.