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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by attempting to psyop my boss into giving me his couch

This is currently an ongoing problem that I have created for myself and I’m just not sure what to do. For context it all started when I had to get a new apartment after getting out of a long-term relationship a couple weeks ago now. Now I was happy leaving, but me leaving meant the only things I’d be able to keep at my new place is a TV and a lawn chair until I can slowly start buying furniture again. This is where the fuckup starts.

My boss mentioned to me that he was looking for a new couch in the next week or so. When I told him about my situation he said I could have his old couch if he gets a new one. Now the problem is that he wasn’t convinced he should get a new couch and spend the money, and was considering just keeping his old one. His old couch for context is this very exquisite leather sectional so it’s not like he really needs a new one besides to fulfill his own desires. This is when I decided to come up with a plan to make sure I can have his old couch. And the means I chose is to run a subliminal suggestive campaign on him at work.

I proceeded to go to all the managers and workers at our facility and start talking to them about getting a new couch. A few of them were also looking into new couches because of tax season. Now what I did is convinced a few people who wanted new couches to talk to him about getting a new couch and the benefits of having a new one. What turned into a couple people has now turned into dozens of people talking to him about buying new couches and how they are going to get new ones. Well long story short of the past week is that he has decided to buy a new couch and give me his old one. Now how is this a fuck up when I was successful in my plan?

It won’t stop.

My plan has been so effective that it seems like half of our company is now buying new couches, and the result of this is that I’ve become the “guy who needs a couch” around the place, so what are these people doing? They keep bringing me couches to my apartment because everyone has gotten a new couch. It will not stop, I get at least one text message a day having someone try to give me their couch. It’s not like I can’t say no, but I feel bad denying generosity especially when I’m in a time of need, and it’s very appreciated. But I can’t do it, people are just getting my address from my boss (we happen to be neighbors as well) and I keep showing up to my place with new couches in my driveway. I have 7 couches and people are still trying to give me more couches. I have created a curse that I do not know how to break, and now I must live in an apartment of nothing but couches.

TL;DR I tried to use people at work to convince my boss to give me a couch, I have now become the couch man unwillingly

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