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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by looking through my moms phone

My mom has two phones, one is for phone calls and texting and work and regular every day stuff, her second phone is a game phone, and she always leaves it home when she’s at work. I lost my phone and had been searching for it for about 40 minutes before i got her game phone, and i began trying to call myself from her phone.

None of her messaging/calling apps were able to call my number, so i opened her instagram (we follow each other there) to see if i could call myself that way. I opened her messages to try to find myself, but i couldnt find my account, nor any of her friends’ accounts or any other family members’ accounts. I really shouldnt have but i tapped on one of her chats with some stranger, and i read some messages of her flirting with this rando. She and my stepdad have been married for about seven years and dated for even longer. I have a stepsister that my stepdad cherishes also.

I went through the rest of her messages which were all pretty much the same, back and forth flirting as well as her lying about being in a fully committed relationship, back as far (and probably further) as 2020. Shes had some people request to meet up irl, and i have no idea what to do. My step dad deserves to know, even though hes done super shady stuff in the past. I couldnt have ever guessed my mom was doing this, maybe in the past but the whole family has been in a very good spot since the new year. My boyfriend said i should talk to her first, but i know she’ll be PISSED i went through her phone, even if i was just trying to find my phone. I count all of what i mentioned already as cheating, and im still not sure how long this has been going on. Am i wrong? Should i just forget abt it??

TLDR; i found my married mom’s flirtatious messages on instagram trying to find my phone, and i dont know what to do

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