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TIFU by reading Facebook messages from my ex of +10 years ago.

Today out of boredom I logged into my Facebook for the first time in years. I ended up going to my Facebook messages and seeing a bunch of old messages. Out of curiosity, I scrolled down to see how far back I can go. It was super interesting to me, it's like a time capsule. Welp, I stumbled upon messages between me and my ex.

As a background, she was the one that got away. We were high school sweethearts that continued dating through college. We dated for 4.5 years. We were head over heels in love with each other. Her family loved me, and my family loved her. This sounds cliche but I knew from the day that I met her that I wanted to marry this girl. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, smart, thoughtful, honest, funny, and we got along so well together. It was really like we were made for each other.

Well, college did as college does to us ( we went to different colleges). We were both each other's first, and she clearly got a lot of attention from other guys, and started to think "is LobsterCoordinates really going to be my first and last?". She wanted to "see what else is out there for her", and in hindsight I don't blame her and I'm not mad at her for it, we met at a young age and she had every right to do this.

Anyway, it took many, MANY years to get to a point where I wasn't sad over the break up. We broke up in 2013 and 2017 was when I was at a point where I could think about our relationship and it not make me sad. To this day, I still think about our relationship very frequently. I don't think I will ever completely get over that relationship, but I can't let that put a pause on my life. I needed to accept that it was over, accept that I may never fully heal from it, and move on with my life. So I did, and I'm at a point now where I'm happy and no longer feel sad thinking about the relationship.

Until I read those messages.

She is married with a child, I am married with a child. I have a successful career, a house, and a great relationship with my wife. I love her and my son, I really do. But reading those messages reminded me of how different my love for my my high school sweetheart was. I will never experience that sort of love ever again. Just her existence in my life made me feel so fulfilled, like nothing else mattered. Reading those messages reminded me of how much we loved each other, and what that felt like. It made me miss those days that I'll never be able to get back.

Ah fuck me. Don't read old Facebook messages if you're not ready to relive the past.

TL;DR: I read 10+ year-old Facebook messages between me and my ex, and re-lived our love, and the feeling of losing her.

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