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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by kissing my ex-girlfriend

I'm an 18 year old nale from Belgium and had been in an intimate relationship with my 16 year old gf (I was 17 when we met). It's been while now since my ex ended things between us. For her own mental reason she stated. Yet asking me a mere 2 weeks after to be her FWB (friends with benefits). Having had sex multiple times since then.

I asked her to the school galabal to be my date, she said yes. When I picked her up from the train station we went for a couple of drinks at a bar. And later headed on to the gala. We danced, drunk, took photos and more... It was after 7 or 8 drinks I forced her to stop drinking or things would end up badly (her being already drunk). I had arranged for my father to pick us up at 1 AM. We went outside and got in the car, to risk getting the car puked over I politely asked her to lay down. She did. She dozed of a couple of times. And we sang to some songs when she woke up. Then when she was awake I asked her if I could kiss her. After she gave her permission I went in for the kiss and she seemed to accept it. A little later we reached her house, and dropped her of.

The next day I got a text from her, stating she didn't find it ok I kissed her. I immediately apologized and she said it was OK. I still asked to make sure it was OK, and she said yes.

It's now 2 days later and just got another text from her, saying she is ending it all. Saying she didn't like what happened and saying, what I dislike most in this world, that I molested her. And that she doesn't want to see me anymore.

Note, that we go to the same school and classes.

I know myself that that kiss was not that good to do. And I apologized multiple times for it since. Bit now having been named a rapist/molester, I don't think I can keep living with myself.

Tl;Dr

I kissed my FWB ex-girlfriend after a school galabal. And 3 days later she ended everything and saying I did the one thing I hate most in this world and molested her. Now I have suicidal thoughts because of this.

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