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TIFU by laughing at someone’s purity ring.

On mobile, so apologies for any formatting issues.

This happened the other day, and I’m still cringing about it. For context; I’m an ex-evangelical, single parent, with a septum ring and brightly colored hair. I grew up in Purity Culture ™ and when I was 16 years old, my father sat me down and gave me a ring and asked me to promise that I would “save myself” for my future husband, and sexually pure until I was married.

This ring and promise absolutely did not work. The only thing the purity ring gave me was a sense of shame regarding my sexuality, and because I was only taught to abstain from sex, I had absolutely no idea how to go about setting sexual boundaries and engaging in safe sex… which ultimately resulted in me getting knocked up as a young adult. Yay.

So about the other day.

I decide to stop by a garage sale. As I approach the house, a woman and her teenage daughter greet me. The teenager is probably 15/16years old, super chatty, bubbly, and seems incredibly sweet.

She tells me she loves my hair, and that she wishes she could have bright hair like mine, but since she’s about to move and is transferring to a private Christian school, she can’t have any unnatural hair colors, as that would go against the code of conduct. She continues on about the move, how hard it is to leave her friends, where she and her family are going, etc. etc. she monologues about the is for a solid five minutes while I peruse the items they’re selling. As I’m getting ready to leave, the daughter notices the ring on my right hand, tells me it’s super pretty, and then proceeds to show me a small ring she has on her left ring finger, and explains it’s from her dad, and it’s her purity ring. She then explains the concept of a purity ring to me, and how she’s promised her father to remain pure for her future husband.

I sort of chuckle at this, I had a purity ring, I felt like I was looking in the mirror at a younger version of myself. Bright eyed, bushy tailed, super excited about Jesus.

So before any rational thought crosses my mind, I say, out loud, “It’s a beautiful purity ring. Mine didn’t work, but uh… yours might!”

Instant regret.

The girl’s eyes got super wide and the glare her mother shot my direction could have melted what is left of the ice caps.

I felt mortified. I immediately said goodbye and walked shamefully back to my car. It’s probably not that big of a deal, but hot damn. Every time this crosses my mind I want to bury myself alive. I cannot believe I said that to her.

TL;DR I told a girl with a purity ring that my own purity ring had been useless.

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