TIFU by writing a book about my crush

Excuse my poor English. English is my third language. This happened in 2022 when I was 22 years old but it started in November 2021. Warning in advance that this is a double FU.

Usually I’m a very socially anxious person so I’ve never had a boyfriend. During my teenage years I had no crushes and I’ve never been in love. However in university that changed. There was this guy. You know when you grow up to no male attention you romanticise every single interaction with men at least just like that for us women. No idea about the men. That man was the first guy who paid attention to me and was nice to me. Our first interaction was when he opened the campus door for me because he was opening it and he saw me. I didn’t know my colleagues yet and I didn’t know she was one of them. During our first class however I talked too During our first class however I talked to many people including him. I knew that I would see him often. After that day I romanticised the little gesture.

It took me one week to realise I have feelings for him and he was just being nice. But I couldn’t tell him because I would risk embarrassing myself. So my feelings for him grew I didn’t say a word. The only reason why I went to lectures was to see him. He didn’t mind me sitting next to him even though i awkward as fuck I didn’t really talk.

Maybe I should go to the point. My feelings became so intense to the point I began writing a book about us. I came up with a love story. it was like a fanfiction I mean it was a fanfiction. So on a Word file I wrote 50 chapters 400 pages romance novel about us in my native language. I I kept the book and I made some changes from time to time and add and removed chapters pages or whatever.

So it was 2022 my second year of university and I had a project. At this point I haven’t touched that book I wrote in 2 months because I was busy with studying for exams. Even during exams so I was thinking about him and we were just colleagues who got along. And considering the procrastinator I was the project due at the 11:59pm. I was done with it at 11:55pm. Unfortunately I was too tired and instead of sending my project I sent the book. The files were next to each other because the book is the only Word file I don’t delete. Let’s just say that this book not only romantic scenes but some spicy ones too. Immediately emailed the professor that I sent the wrong file. Thank God she was nice and gave me a second chance to send my actual assignment. And I’m so glad that I never had lectures with her ever again. I bet she thinks i am crazy. But smart because i had an A.

This isn’t the only fuck up this book caused. And the irony is that is happened by the end of 2022. The first incident happened in the beginning of 2022. So for my birthday I got a MacBook and I’ve decided to carry to lectures because the battery would last long enough. Maybe I should have left that book in my old Windows laptop but nope. I still wanted to edit it but I didn’t edit it as much.

So this time the fuck is worse. he had a girlfriend around the time and she wasn’t one of the possessive ones. I would have been if we were together. So during another lecture I again sat next to him. This time the professor told us to pair in two for a group project. This was like some romance novel but unfortunately had a girlfriend even though if he didn’t it was my chance to get him for me.

So I went to his place and his girlfriend was there. She was actually very nice. So I brought my laptop with me and I opened it so we can work on it together. At some point I needed it to use the restroom and I told him to do research or write if he needs to write anything and he did. I came back in time because he opened the folder with the files and saw that there’s a book. He told me he did an Excel sheet while I was gone. I was relieved he didn’t open the wrong file.

However the next day I couldn’t go to his place and my place is a mess so I couldn’t really invite him so he told me to send the file and she will send an edited version of it. I’m not kidding I made the same mistake I made during the exam season. I wasn’t tired or anything I was clumsy. When I realised what I have done he already have seen the message but I still deleted it but there’s no point because he downloaded the file.

Let’s just say that he is still avoiding me. he didn’t say anything he did his part on the assignment but I was too ashamed to face him in real life so I began skipping. This was so insane to the point I started going to therapy. The only time we talked after this he told me he doesn’t feel the same and now we are avoiding each other.

Today I saw a video about limerence. I did my research on that and I realised This was the word that describes my situation. I wasn’t in love I was obsessed with that guy because he wasn’t like the other guys. my advice for you guys is don’t write a book about your crush. Or if you do hide the file somewhere. I was extremely delusional and if someone did this to me I would put restraining order against them.

Tl;dr1: I developed crush on a guy. I rolled a book about us which included our names. I never deleted the file so when it was time to send my assignment that was my exam practically I accidentally sent that book. The professor was nice enough to give me a second chance she probably thinks I am creepy.

Tl;dr2: I fucked up twice yes. so during class I was sitting next to him and the professor said that we will be in pairs doing a group project. Again instead of sending the file I should send I dentally sent the book to my crush about my crush that has spicy scenes. He also had a girlfriend at the time. He was nice about it and said he doesn’t feel the same. We are now avoiding each other.

I’m saying it again if you’re feelings are as intense as mine you’re probably obsessed and not in love. This is called limerence. I don’t have feelings for the guy anymore but I just thought it would be funny to share. I will delete it at some point later because this is also embarrassing.