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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by falling asleep in the dentist’s chair

This happened about an hour ago. As the title would suggest, I (33M) went to the dentist for some fillings today. Last few times I went, it was always struggle to keep my tongue out of the way while drilling. Today she used this thing that inserted into my mouth that I bit down on/had a vacuum to suck debri and spit while she went. It would also block my tongue. Perfect. The dentists warned it would be loud, and it indeed sounded like a fan/vacuum in my head.

Well, every night I use a white noise podcast (box fan) to fall asleep and this was basically white noise blaring in my head for an hour and a half. So halfway through the procedure, I feel myself drowsing off and waking up intermittently. Really struggling to stay awake. Same thing happened to me during an MRI, I just zonk out at repetitive white noise no matter how loud. I have the dark sunglasses they gave me on, and I must not have been moving too much, because neither her nor the assistant seemed to notice.

So how did I fuck up? Well my whole life I’ve had the awkward/awful tendency to get an erection when I’m falling asleep or starting to get tired. Not like morning wood, just when I’m starting to fall asleep. This thought pops into my head as I’m intermittently passing out, and yep I feel it. Not full mast, but there’s blood in the water. I had just come from the gym, so there I was in my short gym shorts, basically upside down, crotch airbound, with this woman drilling into my teeth with me not even able to look down and see if my chub is waving to the world. So I spent the last 20-30 min desperately trying to stay awake, make my ass as concave as possible against the chair, squeezing my quads in a desperate attempt to redistribute the blood. I’m at least mildly successful because I can feel at least some shrivel.

Now I’m worried that my dentist is going to think I’m some sort of weird dental fetish masochist. I’m not even straight đŸ˜­

TL;DR: Kept dosing off during dental procedure, my dick decided to make a grand entrance and I’m probably on some dental blacklist now.

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