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TIFU by asking my parents why they don’t like me

i (F, 24) live with my mom, dad, and brother(22). For context, as a family we have gone through a lot together. Our house burned down in 2016 and we lost everything, after that my dad lost his mom and ended up becoming a raging alcoholic and completely physically and mentally abusive. He would hit my mom and leave bruises all over her and would mentally abuse my brother and i, go on crazy rampages throwing things off of our deck etc. At the time i was living on my own in a house, and my mother came to me for help and comfort. That took a huge mental toll on me and i ended up having to quit my job earlier than expected, move out of my home and back in with my parents on very short notice and that’s where i have been since. Eventually my dad almost died from the alcohol and got sober. Since then, we have all lived together, relatively “peacefully”. My parents have always had their issues but the biggest thing has been their lack of emotional maturity throughout my life. As i have gotten older i almost feel as if i have surpassed their emotional intelligence and i find it so difficult to even have a conversation with them, let alone a hard one. They always deflect or project their own feelings onto me or just ignore me all together. They team up on me and even completely twist situations to be what they are not. Overall i am completely exhausted and tired of defending myself. The final straw was this morning. I joined them in the living room just to tell them a few things about my dog and i could feel their apathy towards me. I was feeling emotional and began to cry at their lack of interest in what i was saying. When my mom noticed i was crying she looked upset and so i said “why don’t you guys like me?”. I surprised even myself when i asked but i needed to know. My dad proceeded to tell me very matter of factly that i was” hard to like, and hard to be friends with, and even hard to love”. Hearing that come from my own fathers lips sent me into a bit of a panic attack and i felt like i couldn’t breath so i excused myself and walked away. i know deep down none of that is even remotely true and i felt like he was projecting a bit onto me again. I calmed myself down but for lack of better judgment went back upstairs to ask my mom if she also felt that way about me. Turns out she absolutely does. She started bringing up things i’d say as a teenager ( at least 5 years ago now) and said i’m a very mean person. She also said i was mean for calling out her emotionally detached and apathetic behavior in the past. I cannot stress to y’all enough how much i have been trying to not talk to them and hold back my tongue and walk away when they get mean or angry so i was very confused. I was also confused because of course i had said some crazy shit in my time, i had been dealing with an abusive parent. Somehow it then turned into my dad going on yet another one of his rampages around the house calling everyone stupid and slamming doors. They are pissed at me and think i’m an awful person who starts shit for no reason.

i am at such a loss. I still live with them and unfortunately due to the way the economy is looking will continue to for the foreseeable future.

TL;DR i am cutting off my toxic parents because they don’t like me and think i’m hard to love because of my reactions to their abusive behaviors.

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