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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting off a bike.

So not today but Sunday I messed up pretty bad.

It’s Embarrassing but today I finally have some courage to share . If you’re easily grossed out I recommend skipping this post .

So basically I got a new bike , it’s a road bike so it has thin tires and like this long thin seat . When I got home I adjusted the seat a little bit higher and went on a ride with my gf. After our ride she wanted to grab coffee at a busy shop right around the corner of our apartment and walk our bikes home after. So we pulled in and had a bunch of cars pull in right beside us and my only option to hop off the back of this bike . So I quickly slide off and immediately realize I fucked up . I can’t see what was going on because I have loose gym shorts on but my balls are caught underneath the front of the seat and I have both feet planted over the back wheel of the bike . I let out a screech and barely had the strength to get forward and unhook myself . I then looked over at my girlfriend and barely muttered “help” as she skips right into the Coffee shop. She didn’t hear me or notice anything that happened . Next thing I know I woke up to a couple telling me they found me face down shaking on the ground. Busted up my knee and face good and now my girlfriend is traumatized 👍🏻. She convinced me to be seen and I got a ultra sound done below the belt . The boys live to see another day. To make things even better the lady doing the ultra sound on me was an old coworker !

TL;DR I hopped off a bike and my balls got caught in the seat stretching them to damaging proportions and passing out due to pain . My face and crotch are fucked up but I’m young and should recover in a couple weeks . Protect your boys men 🫡.

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