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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by not cracking eggs into a separate bowl

This just happened to me and I am posting in order to help process and take my mind off the nausea I am experiencing because of it.

My husband loves homemade turkey burgers and I hadn’t made them for awhile. I usually use a pound of ground turkey to make four, but I figured since they’re so popular in my family I’d make a big batch this time and freeze some, so I bought three pounds of turkey. I got out everything I needed and put it on the counter. Put all three pounds of the turkey into a mixing bowl, then got three eggs to crack into them. Cracked the first two and nothing unusual happened. Cracked the third one and a weird, gray sludge fell out all over the turkey, and then the smell hit me. The egg was rotten.

For some reason, my immediate instinct was to try to salvage the turkey, so I threw a colander in the sink and dumped the contents of the mixing bowl into it and turned on the cold water. By now I am gagging and heaving at the smell, and because I’m doing this in a panic, I’m not thinking clearly, and the running water from the faucet splashes the rotten egg sludge and raw turkey juice all over the sink and surrounding area and my face and shirt. I still somehow do not vomit but can’t stop gagging. I realize this second mistake and shut the water off as the smell seems to grow stronger. I balanced the colander over the mixing bowl and tried to quickly get it across the kitchen to the trash bin as I realized it’s dripping all over the floor so the area that will need to be sanitized/destroyed in a fire has grown. While I’m dumping the mix into the trash, I am shaking and gagging and accidentally drop it so it splashes all over our garbage and recycling bin area.

I got the containers back into the sink, put all the recycling bin contents into the trash bin, got everything to the outdoor bin and then came back inside still gagging and started cleaning up. Everything has now been sanitized, myself included, but my heartbeat still hasn’t returned to normal and I feel like I will never eat food again, especially not eggs or ground turkey.

TL;DR: always crack your eggs into a separate vessel instead of directly into your other food.

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