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TIFU (actually was a few days ago) by downloading grindr at college

I’m majoring in a STEM major that really stresses me out, makes me unhappy, but I do it for scholarships because I was really averted to taking student loans to go to college. My classes for this major really stress me out, I’ve failed calculus twice, am always generally just bad at math and computer courses. The other day, I decided to download Grindr to look for hookups. Still not sure why I did it. Maybe an attempt to cope with stress, maybe a desire to socialize in some way, maybe I wanted validation from people, maybe I was just horny. I downloaded Grindr, set my pfp to a provocative image of me with my face cropped out, and then I noticed that there were people a few hundred feet away, one person who matched with me. I recognized the person who matched with me, made me nervous, but we talked some, I sent a face pic, and kept trying to make non-lewd small-talk conversation, and then without warning, they disappeared from my messages and favorites. I guess I was blocked. He said he didn’t recognize me when I revealed my face, but I’m still mortified. I also talked some with some other guy who also attends the university, also sending a face pic (he sent one first), but neither of us knew eachother. I deleted the app later that day out of anxiety and shame. I’m mortified to go anywhere on campus, I just go to a secluded spot and sleep all day instead of studying. I feel like such a skank, this has made my social anxiety so much worse. I shouldn’t have used such a risqué profile picture. I’m just horrified that one of those two people I sent pictures with my unobscured face visible will recognize me on campus, then find out my name, and then word will spread. I feel like I’ve thrown away my dignity, and I still can’t figure out why the fuck I did it. TLDR; decided to hoe around on Grindr while on campus, got blocked by someone who’s been in my classes before, and now my social anxiety has spiraled out of control to the point I just hide from people and sleep all day instead of studying or looking after my responsibilities. Edit: I recognize that I am likely overreacting a lot. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and overthinking things. This post was more or less a way for me to get this off my chest, I wasn’t thinking too deep about this while typing. This post wasn’t an invitation for yall to be smartasses; seriously, being snotty and pretentious to someone who was clearly not in the clearest state of mind is some pretty damn low hanging fruit.

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