Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by popping a balloon and getting a black eye

There was a party at my place and everyone had gone home. My roommates were out till the evening and I was left bored and a little drunk. I started tidying up a bit but wasn't really feeling it. There was a few balloons on the floor and I stepped on one out of boredom. To my surprise, my foot sank into it and it didn't pop. Took both feet to do it. Then I had a drunken thought pop into my head. I wondered just how big these balloons could get if I kept blowing air into them. So I grabbed one, sat down and started trying to untie the knot. It was hard to do, especially as I'd been drinking, but I was determined and had nothing better to do. Eventually, I got the bloody thing untied and brought it to my lips. I started blowing it bigger, not really paying much thought to what I was doing. My partner hadn't blown them very big and it took a few breaths to make it feel really full. Then I carried on going out of curiosity, not really knowing what to expect. The bit you use to tie it started filling up and soon there was nothing left to hold on to. It was a bit of a struggle to keep it in my lips but I kept on going, surprised it hadn't popped. After a lot of puffing, and the balloon getting to quite a large size, I regretted my decision.

There was a bang like a gunshot and suddenly my eye was stinging like someone had hit me. It teared up and I thought for one drunken moment that I was going to go blind. After inspecting it in the mirror, it was swollen and there was a bit of a cut above my eye. I grabbed a bag of peas and sat down holding it against my throbing eye, thinking how stupid I was.

Then to make things worse, my partner came home. She thought I had gotten into a fight and started panicking. I explained what happened, then she hit my arm and called me a moron. She then told me there were bits of balloon all over the living room. It was like confetti. After telling me off, she had a look at my eye and said I got lucky it didn't do more damage.

So yeah, think things through before you act on random drunken thoughts. I almost lost an eye 😆

TL;DR I blew a balloon until it burst and it hit me in the eye, causing a bruise.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...