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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by not hitting on a girl at a maid café

(25M) I ended up in Maidreamin' maid cafe in akihabara on my own. I'm visiting Japan with some friends and didn't want to eat where they were going, but I still needed food. "If you're in akihabara you HAVE to visit a maid cafe right? Just for that experience." Is what I've always thought.

Now I'm 25M and have never had a girlfriend, all I do is work and while I have hobbies and friends that I leave the house for, I am very much on the path to being alone, just the way I am living my life. And I was honestly okay with that.

So I entered the cafe and I see this absolute stunner. This girl was an absolute 10/10 and she was so beautiful I actually thought she was one of the maids at first. So I start asking her questions like "table for one?" "Do I need to make a reservation?" But it turns out she was actually a customer! And not to be rude, but she put the maids to shame.

When I've hit on girls in the past (once per year or so) I've done it out of obligation. But this was different. I had so many questions to ask her out of pure interest. Is this her first time going to a maid cafe like me, or does she go often? Does she like it or think it's kind of cringe? Where is she from, what does she do? This is going to sound sad but I think this is the first time I've EVER been interested in another person like that before. I've had crushes in the past, but only developed them because they showed interest in me first.

I have a fear of being seen as "that guy" (i.e. the guy who creeps on girls in maid cafes). But I wish I had just talked to her about anything. I sat there in complete silence, while she finished her meal, contriving any excuse I could make not to talk to her, like how we were sat kind of far away or how the maids might not like us speaking to other customers.

I just wish I had talked to her. Asked her anything at all. But after about 20 minutes and ample opportunities to start a conversation, she got up and left.

The rest of the session was extremely awkward because (1) I had badly timed it and needed to catch up with my friends, and (2) I was completely down in the dumps from being a complete coward. The maids themselves were very nice and while I appreciate their service and hard work I don't see it being a place I'd want to go again. I left absolutely dejected and angry at myself. I can't even tell my friends because I'm so embarrassed, I told them I went to McDonald's.

I now realise that the fear of rejection is far lesser than the shame of not acting at all.

I think what hurts more is realising that fear overcomes and has complete control of me. I know it sounds dramatic, but it really does feel like all of the stars aligned at that moment and I was unable to act. I go back from Japan soon and life will be the same as it was before. I am realising hey maybe while being single for the rest of my life is cool, maybe it's not the only path for me, but I have to put myself out there and overcome that fear.

TL;DR I had the perfect opportunity to hit on a girl in a maid cafe but the fear of rejection overcame me

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