Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by eating wedding cake that was definitely NOT for me

This didn't happen today, it happened when I was 8 y/o (20ish years ago) and happened over the course of a a few weeks give or take.

So when I was eight, my cousin got married. In my culture, you don't serve the wedding cake to the guests, instead the tiers are given out to the bride's family, groom's family and one special tier. I came to find out that the 'special tier' was for a small ceremony after the first 100 days of the wedding (how cake is meant to last that long without going bad, I truly do not know to this day).

Anyway, a few weeks after the wedding, I found the cake in my aunt's bedroom (groom's mum... also, weird place to keep a cake). My sweet-tooth instincts recognised the box right away. And lo and behold, it was cake. I resisted for a few hours honestly but the cake kept calling me so I took a bite out of it like a heathen. That left me with a problem: they'll know someone ate the cake... I came up with an excellent plan: turn the cake so the bitten-out part is not facing direct field of vision.

Over the course of the 100 days, I took "strategic" bites (remember I was 8) out of the cake and eventually reduced it to crumbs and icing. I have a feeling I wasn't the only one sampling the contraband but I have no proof. By the time the 100 day anniversary came around, there was not much of the cake.

The ceremony day came and who does my aunt sent to get the cake? You guessed it, me... along with my sister. Now I know there's no cake in that box but I get up and go looking for it. I even innocently ask "um, where is the cake?" making my aunt describe in more detail than is necessary the location of the box of crumbs.

Yup, the box was lighter than expected and my sister opens the box.

No cake. Just crumbs... and icing.

My sister's eyes went wide and panic set in.

She picked up the box and carried it to the living room to show everyone. At that point, the only upside was that the only people in this ceremony was immediate family members.

To cut this short, everyone was shocked, rats were somehow blamed (they didn't eat the box though). They had to get store-bought cake (I still don't fully understand the role of the cake but, what do I know)

I finally admitted to the bride this past x-mas and she wasn't as mad as shoe could have been. She did vow to eat my wedding cake or have her kid do it when the time came. Lesson: never eat cake you know, no matter how delicious it looks.

TL/DR: I ate my cousin's wedding cake and pinned it on the rats even though we didn't have any.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more