TIFU by getting blazed and THEN setting my alarms.

This happened this morning, and I still can’t get over how stupid I am.

Relevant backstory time, I currently don’t have a car. The transmission died on me in the middle of the freeway last week and in the meantime, until I get a car, I am living at my work, because lucky me, my work is a hotel, and I can work my shifts and just bum one of our small rooms after I clock out, because my General Manager is cool like that.

Now another thing my lack of vehicle has me doing is picking up extra shifts at one of the other hotels owned my hotels brand. They’ve been short staffed for a while, and the GM over there is my GM’s boss, so I was able to pick up 5 extra shifts for the next two weeks, and I got all of my rides over there paid for by that hotels GM. Unfortunately all of those shifts occur directly after my usual shifts, but I need a car bad, and I appreciate that at least this way I get to keep my usual days off.

Speaking of days off, one of those days off was Christmas Day. The other was the day after. So, since my parents live close to my work by American standards, about 45 minutes away, we arranged for them to pick me up at 11pm after my shift on Christmas Eve, and I would sleep in my childhood bedroom on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (I usually live in my college dorm when it’s not Christmas and I’m not sleeping at my job). Then one of my parents would take me back to work on Friday morning for a shift that I usually don’t work but again, picked up due to the car situation.

Now, another piece of relevant information that you probably deduced from the title is that I am a recreational marijuana user. I don’t use it too much, but I usually partake on my days off, and generally stay away from it on days that I have work. Last night, while looking at my schedule I realize that I am going to be working from 7am - 11pm on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and then work the following 3pm - 11pm shifts on Monday and Tuesday.

This is where the seeds of my fuck up are laid. I recognize that I’m about to have a really difficult week, so I decide to go all out, and get absolutely blazed. I figured that I would chill out, binge some Smosh reading Reddit stories, and get some “me time” in before having to work practically non stop this upcoming week.

My two go-to methods of consumption are resin carts, and 200 mg cookie dough edibles. I decided to go with both last night. I had about 4 or 5 of my cookie dough edibles, and around 10, probably more, hits of my cart. A little while later I’m laying in bed rubbing my arms wondering if they were filled with bees, and I remember that I need to turn my wake up alarms on. I usually use them to get to work on time from my dorm, which is about as far away as my parents house from my work, but had them off because while staying at work, I could wake up much MUCH later than usual and still clock in on time.

Now, I know I’m going to get hate for this, but I am a person who has to have multiple alarms. I can’t wake up to just one, because I don’t actually wake up. I can apparently wake up and still be asleep at the same time, as I will shut off the alarm, go back to bed, and then not remember shutting it off when I actually fully wake up. This is something I deal with often, and it’s to the point that someone can wake me up while I’m sleeping, and I can have a full conversation with them that I don’t remember having the next day. I know this because it is a regular occurrence having a night owl girlfriend

So, I grab my phone and eventually stumble my way onto my clock app, which I often struggle finding even when I’m not high, and turn on all of my alarms (There are 6). The earliest of these alarms is at 5:30am, so that I have time to shower and leave by the latest alarm, which is at 6:15am, to get to work at around 7am when I start. Now here is the fuck up. All of these alarms that I turned on are set to repeat every Saturday and Sunday morning, because those are the days that I work morning shifts.

Today is Friday.

It never occurred to me that, obviously, an alarm set for Saturday isn’t going to wake you up on Friday morning dumbass. I was too busy being proud of myself for remembering to turn them on. Which, in turn, boosted not only my confidence in how well my alarm system was going to work out, but also, my ability to wake up to alarms, which we already established was abysmal. I, no joke, thought multiple times that night: “Tomorrow morning, when my alarms (that I remembered to turn on) go off, I will purposefully sleep through the first alarm (that I remembered to turn on), wake up for the second alarm (that I remembered to turn on), shut off the remaining alarms (that I remembered to turn on), and get up and go about my morning.” What a cocky little dumbass.

Needless to say I did not wake up when my first alarm (tHaT i ReMeMbErEd tO tUrN oN) didn’t go off, nor did I wake up when any of my other alarms (tHaT i ReMeMbErEd tO tUrN oN) also didn’t go off. My mom knocks on my door at 6:15am, reasonably upset because I was supposed to have already been up for 45 minutes by now, and been ready to go. She’s ready to take me to work, and I’m fairly certain I look like I just finished drowning (very Shayne Topp coded). I’m drenched with sweat and extremely confused about how my foolproof plan of waking up to my Saturday alarm on Friday didn’t work.

Luckily I managed to get up, dressed and out of the house quick enough to make it to work by 7:03am, where I currently still am, writing this on my lunch break.

TL;DR: I got high and turned on my alarms set for Saturday and Sunday, then was surprised when they didn’t go off on Friday morning.