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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting sea sick and projectile vomited on my date's clothes.

Very nice, very handsome french guy I met in Marseille asked me out. The date started with an afternoon tea and some french pastries, then we sailed on a sunset cruise with dinner. I blame those damn pastries (more on this latter).

I had been on speedboats and never got even a bit sea sick, so I assumed everything would fine. But the universe woke up wanting to kick me in the teeth that day.

We boarded and sailed, and the moment that ship's hull hit the first wave, my stomach synchronised with the cruise. If we went down, my stomach jumped to my throat; if we went up, it fell to the lowest part of my abdomen (there were moments I thought I was going to pee myself). I tried to lock my eyes in the horizon, but I was so dizzy and leaning sidewise that it wasn't horizontal anymore - just a diagonal line that changed it's angle of inclination with each wave.

Then I began to taste and smell the sweet of those pastries again, which combined with the salty evening breeze, gave me the most nauseating mouth taste I have ever experienced. Meanwhile I was trying to keep my whole act straight (my date was paying for everything, btw). I talked and talked, pretending everything was fine - except I wasn't. I should have excused myself and ran to the bathroom (or the side of the boat at the least) when I felt the vomit coming, but, stupid me, I still tried to soldier-on through the feeling.

I was facing directly at his face (trying to smile :)) when I, literally, exploded. I didn't even had time to face away and vomit on my myself (which I would have preferred a million times); instead, that handsome french guy got it all on his shirt, pants, and shoes. And it was a lot. I have no idea how my stomach could hold onto so much vomit (one surprises oneself sometimes). I think I puked all those croissants and macarons in one single regurgitation because, making the scene even worse, I went on dry-gagging for like a whole minute or two (seriously, I think I have never suffered so much while vomiting).

Then the cruise crew came and cleaned the whole mess (they were very nice to me. I still remember "These things happen" in very thick french accent). My date did the best he could to clean up himself in the bathroom.

Interestingly, I've never been sea sick again.

And we still hooked up that night (on land, after a shower).

TL;DR: I went on a sunset cruise with and threw up all my french pastries on my date.

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