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I’m 17 and can’t stop making problems that I feel are ruining my family. Today I got into my second car accident and after having even more of my stupid decisions thrown in my face I’m starting to realize just how much of a nuisance I am.
My family has had issues almost my whole life. My parents never really got along and were pretty young when they got together. Especially my dad. Throughout my childhood I was blissfully ignorant of the m various issues my parents had. They separated about a decade ago now and still aren’t on good terms.
I stayed with my mom after they separated and would see my dad every weekend. It stayed like that for years. I thought I adapted to the whole thing well but that was probably because I don’t know what I do now. My parent’s separation was extremely messy and I’m still finding out more to this day. The biggest issues were that my mom was extremely spiteful and for years tried all kinds of shit to get my dad locked up. My older sister helped a few times as well.
So fast forward some years and I’m older and now finding out more about everything that went down. All kinds if schemes my mom cooked up and the worst one was probably when her and my older sister tried to falsely accuse my dad of something. You could probably guess what I don’t feel like spelling that out. Leaves a real bad taste in my mouth.
I love my family. More than anything and I guess since I only found out about all the horrible stuff kind of recently I guess it just hasn’t set in yet since my opinion if my sister and mother hasn’t changed. I don’t know why and maybe something is just wrong with me. I still keep in contact with my mom and I visit my sister every once in a while. I also love my dad and stepmother a lot too.
I end up having to lie to everyone too since they all want to tell me things and then tell me not to tell anyone else. I’m a horrible lier. I lie and then I watch as they see through it and I’m left feeling like a shitty son or brother.
Now with the car accident I’m realizing how much of a problem I am. I’ve done nothing but do some chores around the house for them and give them some money for my car insurance and to help out with bills but it isn’t much. I’ve done barely anything yet they support me and I’m causing them problems. I’m costing them money and time they can’t get back. I made the stupidest choices and for some reason didn’t let them know right away. All I can really do now is hope the guy was as nice as he seemed and let my dad handle it while I sit here writing this shit out and feeling pathetic.
This year has been absolute shit and everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do anymore. Who knows maybe I’m just exaggerating my issues and feeling like shit over nothing but I feel like I’m causing more problems than I’m worth these days.
TL;DR:I’ve done nothing this year but cause problems and lie to my family’s faces and feel like a worthless family member.
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