Skip to main content

TIFU by walking into the hallway as my husband was scrubbing the wall.

Original title but trying to adhere to the rules: TIFU because I didn't want a fart to make our anniversary worse.

I'm posting for my husband:

TIFU because I didn't want to trap a fart.

Well, this weekend has been a shitstorm, pun intended.

Yesterday, our heater went out, and after much deliberation, we had to bite the bullet and pay for a new one. It won't be here until Monday, so we're trying to to use blankets and space heaters effectively.

Thankfully, a relative has decided to be generous and help us with half the cost so we don't have to finance.

This past week at work has been one of the most stressful, as I'm trying to take over a retiring person's position. Next week will also be very stressful because we have all the appointments of the year scheduled because I don't ever take vacation. My dog, my car, and my house all need financial attention right now, and I feel like I can't catch a break.

Anyway, today is our anniversary, and so far it's been pretty good, despite not having heat, and we wanted to get some pizza.

We got the pizza. We ate the pizza. I had a Dr. Pepper, and I went to throw away the can in the garage (recycling). When I came back in, I had to fart. Thinking I could get it out quickly and leave it in the hallway before I smothered her with my toxic assgass, I decided to pull my pants down a little bit.

I don't know how it happened, but I shat the wall.

All I heard in the other room was my wife saying, "what are you doing? What was that?!?"

I was too embarrassed to say and immediately started cleaning it up. She asked again, and I only said "uhhh... uhhh..."

She then came into the hallway and asked what was going on while I was desperately scrubbing... I told her I was too embarrassed to say.

She said, "omg you shat the wall?!? On our anniversary?!? Oooooh I wish I could tell someone!!!" And we both laughed. She then said, "that's okay, I shat on my grandma's bathroom rug once. Had a fart after peeing... And it just happened. Cleaned it up. Grandma turned the rug over and the stain is STILL THERE."

We both had a good, hearty laugh. Both of us are very stressed these days, and it's a good reminder not to take life too seriously sometimes.

I shotgunned poo on the wall... And I am ashamed. But we're both laughing hard.

Neither of us can tell ANYONE, so we thought it'd be funny to share on reddit instead.

TL;DR: I shat the wall on my anniversary, and we can't tell anyone but Reddit. The shat originated from stress. Hope you all are having a nice day!

Edit: I never thought so many people wouldn't believe me. 🤔 But, that's the internet for ya 🤷‍♀️

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more