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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by walking into the hallway as my husband was scrubbing the wall.

Original title but trying to adhere to the rules: TIFU because I didn't want a fart to make our anniversary worse.

I'm posting for my husband:

TIFU because I didn't want to trap a fart.

Well, this weekend has been a shitstorm, pun intended.

Yesterday, our heater went out, and after much deliberation, we had to bite the bullet and pay for a new one. It won't be here until Monday, so we're trying to to use blankets and space heaters effectively.

Thankfully, a relative has decided to be generous and help us with half the cost so we don't have to finance.

This past week at work has been one of the most stressful, as I'm trying to take over a retiring person's position. Next week will also be very stressful because we have all the appointments of the year scheduled because I don't ever take vacation. My dog, my car, and my house all need financial attention right now, and I feel like I can't catch a break.

Anyway, today is our anniversary, and so far it's been pretty good, despite not having heat, and we wanted to get some pizza.

We got the pizza. We ate the pizza. I had a Dr. Pepper, and I went to throw away the can in the garage (recycling). When I came back in, I had to fart. Thinking I could get it out quickly and leave it in the hallway before I smothered her with my toxic assgass, I decided to pull my pants down a little bit.

I don't know how it happened, but I shat the wall.

All I heard in the other room was my wife saying, "what are you doing? What was that?!?"

I was too embarrassed to say and immediately started cleaning it up. She asked again, and I only said "uhhh... uhhh..."

She then came into the hallway and asked what was going on while I was desperately scrubbing... I told her I was too embarrassed to say.

She said, "omg you shat the wall?!? On our anniversary?!? Oooooh I wish I could tell someone!!!" And we both laughed. She then said, "that's okay, I shat on my grandma's bathroom rug once. Had a fart after peeing... And it just happened. Cleaned it up. Grandma turned the rug over and the stain is STILL THERE."

We both had a good, hearty laugh. Both of us are very stressed these days, and it's a good reminder not to take life too seriously sometimes.

I shotgunned poo on the wall... And I am ashamed. But we're both laughing hard.

Neither of us can tell ANYONE, so we thought it'd be funny to share on reddit instead.

TL;DR: I shat the wall on my anniversary, and we can't tell anyone but Reddit. The shat originated from stress. Hope you all are having a nice day!

Edit: I never thought so many people wouldn't believe me. 🤔 But, that's the internet for ya 🤷‍♀️

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