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TIFU by hiding a sex book behind the couch

My husband and I have been married for about 4 and a half years. My family is pretty religious and it’s typical for us to wait to have sex until marriage. So, when I got engaged my Dad gave me a book for Christian newlyweds with like information on sex and intimacy and stuff. He thought it would be a good idea that I have like a help guide I guess? It was a little weird but he explained that “there are some questions you don’t want to have to go ask someone so it can be nice to have a reference.” And we have the internet for that now, but he also explained his parents also gave him the same book and he found it helpful.

It was super embarrassing, but I didn’t want to be rude and decline the book so I accepted it. Then I showed it to my at the time fiancé and we laughed at how dumb this book was. Like, okay there was an instruction guide for putting on condoms or something, and it had illustrations that were absolutely hilarious. Obviously they didn’t want to use photos, so they’re drawings, but then I guess the artist was uncomfortable with drawing penises so instead of drawing it they drew dashed lines to sorta “indicate” a penis and so it looks like a ghost penis. And there’s a ton of other really weird and funny things in the book. I’m sure it’s a good resource for people who where sheltered about sex growing up, like my parents were, so I definitely understand why my dad gave it to me, but that wasn’t my experience growing up.

Anyway my fiancé and I laughed and it was funny and then I said, “okay now what do we do with this book?” I wasn’t about to put it on our bookshelf for the world to see, so I stashed it under the couch in my fiancé’s apartment and then promptly forgot all about it. Then we got married, I moved in, and the couch had never once moved. Until today.

The landlord is having new routers installed in our apartments. I let them in and they looked around and found the install spot next to the couch. We moved the couch, we moved some stuff that was behind the couch, and I didn’t think much of it. Then the guy had to move a piece of metal and I said, “oh sorry, my husbands a mechanic, he likes to take home random pieces of metal” and the guy was like “oh no big deal.” but then a minute later he said, “well I don’t think that book is you’re husbands” I didn’t see what he was talking about, so I let the comment go. They left the apartment and I went to put the couch back and that’s when I realized the comment was about none other than the sex guide I was gifted for my wedding, that was just… there in plain sight… right next to the newly installed router. That’s of course when I realized what the comment meant… and of course by then they had left and it was too late to clear my name. So now I have to live with the fact that my landlord and a bunch of strange men have seen my Christian sex guide.

So yeah… that happened. I immediately told my husband who laughed at me. It is pretty funny. I’m torn between laughing my butt off and dying of shame. I hope you guys find this funny because something good must come of this disaster.

Edit: I removed most of the “likes” because people were complaining about how unreadable the post is. Sorry! Was just trying to make people laugh didn’t mean to trigger anyone with, like, a bunch of filler words.

Tl;Dr: I was gifted a sex guide for my wedding and I hid it under the couch cause I didn’t want to put it on the shelf and today my landlord and a team of Internet service techs found it when they moved my couch looking for the router.

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