Skip to main content

TIFU by thinking it was just period cramps.

Post a Comment

TIFU by letting my kids watch Bluey.

Obligatory “not literally today” disclaimer but technically over a year ago culminating in the fuck up a couple of days ago.

I know what you’re thinking: “How could anyone fuck up by letting their kids watch the absolutely adorable and beloved animated show about a family of Australian dogs?” Please allow me to enlighten you.

My wife and I have 5 year old triplet boys. As some of you with kids can probably understand, discovering Bluey a year or so ago became a godsend when you just need a break for a few minutes. Having triplets, we probably rely on those breaks more than a lot of people would recommend but a lot of people don’t have triplets either.

For those of you not that familiar with Bluey, a majority of the episodes are about some silly game unique to the Heeler family. The fourth episode, Daddy Robot, is about the kids asking their dad to play Daddy Robot. Daddy Robot is where the Dad basically pretends to be the robot servant for the two children. He does what they ask and refers to them as his master.

Fast forward to a couple days ago after around a year or so of watching all the Bluey episodes multiple times. My three 5 year old boys were playing Daddy Robot at school amongst themselves. What were they asking Daddy Robot to do? I’ll tell you what they were asking Daddy Robot to do. Being 5 year old boys, anything to do with butts is obviously the pinnacle of comedy. So if you were trying to be silly and make your brothers laugh, why would you not ask your Daddy Robot to put their face between your butt cheeks?

Now, place yourselves in the shoes of someone who works with kids, is a mandatory reporter for any kind of suspected child abuse, BUT you are not familiar enough with Bluey to immediately recognize the phrase Daddy Robot. Not only do you hear a 5 year old ask another 5 year old from the same family to put their face between their butt cheeks but the Daddy Robot then proceeds to respond with “Yes, Master”. What do you think happens next?

You guessed it. Earlier in the week, a social worker, escorted by a state trooper, was in our house for 2-3 hours asking questions and checking on our living conditions. Thankfully, Bluey was playing almost the entire time. It wasn’t until yesterday that my wife spoke to a detective to get the barest of details to realize they were re-enacting an episode of Bluey and not, in fact, re-enacting some sort of sexual master/slave dynamic from home. The investigation is still proceeding with individual interviews next month so now I have to worry about getting arrested in a month if my kids can’t explain Daddy Robot properly.

TL;DR Encouraged my kids to watch Bluey, they played a game from Bluey that sounds like abuse is going on at home outside of context, and now being investigated by CPS as a precaution.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU having sex with the hot tub

Happened a year ago, but today was when I was told how bad this is.    Having sex with the hot tub is a terrible idea.  Not IN the hot tub.  WITH the hot tub.    I like to relax at night in the hot tub.  No lights on, dark sky and all alone in my backyard.  Sometimes, the hot water and bubbles hit the right spot and things can get aroused.  Usually not a big deal and a little masturbation to climax helps with the relaxing part of the evening.  However, this night, I was too stressed to finish, but the erection would not go away.  I decided I had to take care of the issue and looked for the most immediate, intense stimulation by sticking my penis right up against the jet flow.  The feeling was incredibly intense and the desired effect took place within a minute.    Now I could relax.  But, something didn’t feel right.   Touching my semi-erect penis, I realized it was flopped over to the side, half way up...
Post a Comment
Read more