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TIFU by letting my kids watch Bluey.

Obligatory “not literally today” disclaimer but technically over a year ago culminating in the fuck up a couple of days ago.

I know what you’re thinking: “How could anyone fuck up by letting their kids watch the absolutely adorable and beloved animated show about a family of Australian dogs?” Please allow me to enlighten you.

My wife and I have 5 year old triplet boys. As some of you with kids can probably understand, discovering Bluey a year or so ago became a godsend when you just need a break for a few minutes. Having triplets, we probably rely on those breaks more than a lot of people would recommend but a lot of people don’t have triplets either.

For those of you not that familiar with Bluey, a majority of the episodes are about some silly game unique to the Heeler family. The fourth episode, Daddy Robot, is about the kids asking their dad to play Daddy Robot. Daddy Robot is where the Dad basically pretends to be the robot servant for the two children. He does what they ask and refers to them as his master.

Fast forward to a couple days ago after around a year or so of watching all the Bluey episodes multiple times. My three 5 year old boys were playing Daddy Robot at school amongst themselves. What were they asking Daddy Robot to do? I’ll tell you what they were asking Daddy Robot to do. Being 5 year old boys, anything to do with butts is obviously the pinnacle of comedy. So if you were trying to be silly and make your brothers laugh, why would you not ask your Daddy Robot to put their face between your butt cheeks?

Now, place yourselves in the shoes of someone who works with kids, is a mandatory reporter for any kind of suspected child abuse, BUT you are not familiar enough with Bluey to immediately recognize the phrase Daddy Robot. Not only do you hear a 5 year old ask another 5 year old from the same family to put their face between their butt cheeks but the Daddy Robot then proceeds to respond with “Yes, Master”. What do you think happens next?

You guessed it. Earlier in the week, a social worker, escorted by a state trooper, was in our house for 2-3 hours asking questions and checking on our living conditions. Thankfully, Bluey was playing almost the entire time. It wasn’t until yesterday that my wife spoke to a detective to get the barest of details to realize they were re-enacting an episode of Bluey and not, in fact, re-enacting some sort of sexual master/slave dynamic from home. The investigation is still proceeding with individual interviews next month so now I have to worry about getting arrested in a month if my kids can’t explain Daddy Robot properly.

TL;DR Encouraged my kids to watch Bluey, they played a game from Bluey that sounds like abuse is going on at home outside of context, and now being investigated by CPS as a precaution.

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