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TIFU by perving on an 83 year old woman and accidentally blasting a prn ad into my wife's ears

So I have eclectic tastes. With music, specially, I listen to a wide variety of genres, sub-genres, cultural categories, etc. YouTube's algorithm struggles to keep up with me sometimes, so it will throw the most random videos at me.

(I know this is not how it works, but I can't help talking about YouTube that way.)

So last night YouTube recommended a video titled "Ann-Margaret: Shotgun." If you're not familiar with Ann-Margaret, she was a real eye catcher back in her day. She knew what her mama gave her, and she made a name for herself by shaking it in various states of dress - often while maintaining a contrasting innocent look. (At least, that's how I see it; I'm not from that era.) My first introduction to Ann-Margaret was on Mad Men, in which they play a clip of her singing Bye Bye Birdie.

Oh my.. That clip has stuck with me over the years, but I never really looked into her. I've seen Ann-Margaret pop up in references throughout the years, but mostly I've just ignored her.

But YouTube decided it was time I get to know this lady a little better. The aforementioned video appeared on my TV last night. I gave it a shot, because why not. It looked innocent enough. When, however, a close-up of Ann-Margaret's hips shaking through a pair of sheer black leggings, I realized I needed to take her off my 85" screen. I wasn't alone in the house, after all.

Some time later, I decided to look her up on my phone. Google Ann-Margaret, click on images, and you get some alluring results.

But that was not enough.

Oh, no, dear reader. My depraved mind needed more.

So I added "nude" to the search, then turned off safe search. The results were considerably more seductive. Naturally.

The first of those results came from AZNudes. Hey, I've been there before. I'm not proud. I'm not ashamed, either. At least, not that ashamed. I dutifully tapped the link. It loaded quickly, and instead of seeing Ann-Maragret in the buff, I saw an ad for jerkmate on auto-play. I instinctively turned down the volume of my phone, just in case. There was no sound coming out of it, to my relief.

But wait a minute! The volume was at full. And it had the Bluetooth icon. That wasn't right, because my buds were in their case. I decided to check my Bluetooth settings, and the blood just emptied from my face. I could feel myself turn white.

My phone was not connected to my buds. Oh no, dear reader. My phone was connected to my wife's older headphones. I didn't even know she had them anymore!

As nonchalantly as I could, I went to check on her. She was doing something for work, so I had to walk across the house. We made eye contact, but she just smiled. A very knowing, judgy-but-I've-accepted-your-depravity-as-my-husband kind of smile.

She still hasn't said a word about it. But I know that for the briefest of moments, my wife was blasted with "Yo! Ever heard of jerkmate!"

Tl;Dr: I looked up nude photos of Ann-Margaret and managed to blast the audio of a jerkmate ad into my wife's ears.

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