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So last week, I seriously fucked up. I was at a hardware store looking for a part and I couldn't find it. So I grabbed a random worker who was walking by to ask where it was. As soon as the guy stopped I recognized him as someone from my high school friend group. He was never my best friend, but we hung out a lot with the group and I liked him. I hadn’t seen him for years at this point. Not for any reason, our lives just went in different directions.
So he shows us where the part was and we start talking. How you been, etc. He asks me if I’m in touch with any of the people we use to hang out with. I tell him not really but once in a while. It's been almost 25 years since we graduated, so not a surprise.
Here's where I fucked up. I suddenly remember that I did see the whole group somewhere a few years back. So I say, "oh yeah I did see everybody at a funeral a few years ago. Were you there? I don’t remember you being there".
He kind of gets a quizzical look on his face and asks me if it was one friend's funeral, a guy who OD’d a while back. No. I know it wasn’t his. I was out of the country for that one. Quizzical look intensifies.
Right at that second, it hit me. The funeral I’m half-remembering was for this guy’s wife who died 5-6 years ago of cancer. She was very young and left him with two young kids. It was really sad. I went because my other friends were all in town from all over and I wanted to show solidarity even if I hadn't been in touch. Realizing this made my stomach drop and I just wanted to disappear.
Since we weren’t that close and I hadn't seen him for so long, I didn’t want to just be like "omg I’m so sorry, that was your wife who died and I forgot about", so I kind of just said, well anyway I’m sure I’ll see you around and left. I felt so bad but I judged in the moment(perhaps wrongly) that feigning ignorance and looking like an asshole was better than opening an old wound at work for someone I’d barely seen once since high school. I'm sorry man. I do feel like shit.
TLDR: Ran into an old high school friend, told him I didn’t remember seeing him at a funeral. It was his wife’s funeral. Fuck me.
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