TIFU Telling my coworkers why I don't date.

I (29f) work in a place with a lot of older women. I love it! There's always food to eat and the place stays lively. The only downside is that I'm the only one unmarried and child free, which makes them do everything they can to get me a relationship. With valentine's day around the corner, they've really been buzzing. It only mildly irritates me and I find it kind of funny, so no need for HR.

We were at lunch, gossiping as usual when they started to tell me about valentine's being on a Friday and how it would be so cute if I got dressed up to go out that night and how they can help me pick an outfit. I jokingly told them "it took three men to teach me a lesson, I don't need another." They then started pestering me about what they did, in that moment I decided if I told them about my three worst dating experiences, they would leave it alone.

I told them about the first guy who was in the military. We met on tinder and talked for two weeks before he told me he was being deployed for a year to another country. While I was disappointed, he asked me if we could still talk and so I did. For 6 months we texted, talked on the phone, or facetimed nearly everyday. We finally met and he got us a hotel to stay the weekend. We still kept in touch but the conversation was dwelling on his end. For his birthday I sent him a care package overseas. For my birthday, he texted me. In one of our conversations, he told me he was getting stationed in California. What did my stupid self do? Flew to California to "surprise him". (You know those "Hey, I'm in your city" jokes? Yea that was my silly ass.) I now will never step foot in the state of California. They then went on about me being young and making mistakes! (And they were pissed at me for chasing after a man.)

That didn't work so I told them about the next guy I meet. He wore my favorite color to our first date and we spent nearly all day together! We went on two dates before I invited him to my Halloween party. However, when he got there, he flirted with every girl at my party. I let it go cause we weren't "official" so I invited him to go out we me and my friends. While we were out, he once again, flirted with every woman but me. (One of my friends decided to be messy and ask him what his type was and he showed her multiple examples, none of them looked like me.)

They told me they hoped I stopped talking to him but I sadly disappointed them by telling them I bought him a Christmas present and a week later he stopped talking to me and when I texted him 7 months later to catch up he told me he was building school buses in Alaska. That lead to a lectured about taking hints and having a sense of discernment.

I finally told them about the last guy. I meet him on an app [queue annoyed motherly sighs from the group] We talked for a few weeks before we went on our first date. The date was good and we continued to talk on Snapchat because he never wanted to give me any other social media. We planned to go out for Valentines day, so my friends went with me to pick out an outfit. Feb 13th, he canceled on me.

I was pissed so I sent my friend to track down any other social media he had, come to find out, he had a girlfriend, after that I learned my lesson. They asked me what lesson I learned. I told them that I was the problem and wasn't meant to date. NOW I THOUGHT they would simply show me some sympathy, hell, PITTY.

No.

They became enraged. They started going on and on about how dating apps are ruining our generation and how these arent reasons to "give up" (its dating, not climbing Mt. Everest lmao). One of them even told me she'll find all the men in the building that are single just for me. I hoped that if I told them how pathetic I was in dating, they'd feel bad (maybe a little uncomfortable) and leave me alone but now they are determined to play match marker. Now I'm incredibly embarrassed and this will probably go on for the entire time I'm here but as long as they keep bringing me snacks and letting me play games on my phone, I guess they can knock themselves out.

TLDR: I told my coworkers my worse dating stories so that they stop trying to get me hitched. I thought it would get them to let it go but instead they've kicked it into maximum overdrive.