TIFU by accidentally blasting my roommate’s NSFW audio through my work Zoom call.

Alright, I’m still dying inside, so bear with me. I (25F) share an apartment with my bestie, “Sara,” and work remote for this boring insurance gig. My team’s small, and we do these quick Zoom check-ins every morning. I’m usually muted, half-listening, sipping coffee in my PJs—standard stuff.

Last night, Sara’s out, and I’m home alone, scrolling TikTok like a zombie. She texts me this hilarious voice memo—her doing a dramatic reading of some spicy fanfic she found, full-on moaning and over-the-top lines like, “He ravaged me under the starry sky, my sir!” I’m wheezing, save it to my phone, and crash out.

This morning, I’m late for the Zoom call. My laptop’s on the couch, I’m scrambling to unmute, and my phone’s right next to it. Boss is droning on about quotas, and I lean over to grab my charger—bam, my elbow hits my phone. Bluetooth kicks in, and suddenly Sara’s voice is BLASTING through my laptop speakers: “OH, YES SIR” Full volume. I freeze. My coworker chokes on her coffee, my boss goes, “Uh… what?” and I’m just slapping my phone like it’s possessed, screaming, “NO NO NO, THAT’S NOT ME!”

It cuts off after like 10 agonizing seconds, and I’m bright red, stammering, “That was… my roommate… joking around… sorry.” Boss just says, “Okay, moving on,” but the chat’s blowing up with “SIR???” from my team. I muted myself and sat there wanting to evaporate into my couch. They’re roasting me now, and I’m pretty sure “Sir’s Lady” is my new nickname.

TL;DR: Accidentally played my roommate’s steamy fanfic audio in a work Zoom call. I’m Sir’s Lady forever now, I guess.