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TIFU by making my ex girlfriend touch something she shouldn't have and now I'm broken.

So, this was actually the 9th of April last year. I remember because it was the day everything in my life went downhill. At the time, it seemed like a normal day. It was the day of my first actual kiss. I was 14, my (now ex) gf was 13, we're both a year older now. So, we had a lot of hormones, because we'd been kissing for pretty much the entire day, and, in a moment of weakness, I made er touch my thing. I'm not proud of it. But I brushed it off, even forgot about it because I didn't see it as a problem because I thought she'd also brushed it off. Then, just over a month later, she said she might be lesbian, and didn't want to hurt me. So, we broke up. End of story, right? I get seriously hung up over her for the last 10 months and that's it?

Nope.

A month after we broke up, we both went on a school residential. We were on a boat for a week with 8 other kids and 2 teachers. I spent the first half of it with her, because I wasn't close with anyone else, but then she told me the real reason we broke up. The thing I brushed off. I only cried twice over her (once the day she told me the fake reason we broke up and once when she said we'd broken so bluntly) but I was so close to then. I didn't want to cry in front of people though, so I held it in. I started to drift apart from her, find some new mates because I couldn't help but feel bad and I just didn't want to see her much. One thing really stuck in my head. There were four of us sat there, and they were saying stuff about her. I said they probably shouldn't say that stuff in front of me. They asked if I still loved her. I presumably blushed and looked away. The went, in unison, "awwwwwww" and I was just like "seriously?" But that was it really for the trip.

November, I'm close to moving on. Almost over her. I find out she's dating one of my mates.

Right back to square fucking one.

I was a mess, I was so upset, because it felt like I'd been cheated on. It's weird, because I knew we'd broken up, but at the same time it didn't feel like it. But, I got over it, with the help of G.

Speaking of which.

Start of December, I started dating G. It went ok. However, on the 27th of December, I got a message from ex. We were just catching up because I hadn't seen her in ages, and I ended up apologising for everything basically. I'd wanted to do this for so long, and now I'd finally done it. The next morning I told G that I'd finally apologised. (She was the first and only person I told about why me and ex broke up) I'd told her that I'd wanted to say sorry for what I'd done before we'd even started dating. She started going off at me saying I loved ex and not her. I was almost sick because I thought I'd lose her. We did break up, because she didn't know how to communicate without using her best mate.

Then 3 weeks ago, me and ex realised we still loved each other, and we said we'd give it another shot. But the, last Friday, she said she had to ask her parents first. They said no. Guess why? Because of the reason we broke up.

Now I'm having a crisis because I'm worried I'm just a bad person, because what if I am the reason none of my relationships last? I know I'm a good person, but I'm starting to wonder if I can ever find love again because I feel like everything leads back to her but we can't be.

TL:DR: I made my girlfriend do something I shouldn't have and now everything I do seems to go back to her and I can't be happy or have a relationship without her.

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