Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by scratching my balls

A fresh TIFU for y'all, since this happened a little more than an hour ago. Mods, I'll gladly delete this if you deem this under the "too vulgar" rule. I also can't seem to find the NSFW tag on mobile, sorry for that.


So I was at a family gathering, both for Easter and for the birthday of my grandma (she's 92 years old and still going strong). I went to the toilet as one normally does, and had a spot on my balls that was a bit itchy. Not unusual, just a slight scratch and it'll go away.

The itch didn't go away, so I scratched some more. Even pulled the good old pinch-'n-roll technique for this one. And after more scratching than I care to admit, a tiny spot on my sack started bleeding. No big deal, it'll stop eventually.

You might already be able to guess what's coming: the bleeding doesn't stop. The wound is as tiny as it can be, but damn it's just pissing blood for some reason. It's not an extreme amount by any means, but there's no way I can get back to the family while it's bleeding this much.

My frustration grows with every minute I need to sit on the toilet to wait for the bleeding to stop. I have used way more toilet paper than I expected for this, and to make matters worse, someone tries to open the door because they need to use the toilet as well. Meanwhile my FUCKING SACK STILL DOESN'T STOP FUCKING BLEEDING. I've been on the toilet for way longer than normal, and the chances of significant family judgement are rising by the second, as are my feelings of stress.

So I quickly put a load of toilet paper in my underwear and get out. I socialise a bit while stressing my ass off about bleeding through my underwear. I sneak out and go upstairs to use the bathroom there, hopefully undisturbed. Luckily my pants survived, but my underwear does have bloody spots. The bleeding luckily slowed down, but it's not stopping yet.

From this point on I was able to take my time and wait for the bleeding to stop, which it did after a few more minutes. Not taking any chances, I put some more clean toilet paper in my underwear and finish up with the gathering (luckily I was about to go home anyways).

I get home and inspect the damage. End result: some blood stains on the inside of my pants, but nothing seems to be visible on the outside. My underwear is ruined though.


TL;DR: I scratched my ballsack to the point of bleeding, and it didn't stop bleeding for way too long. Judgement from everyone at the family easter gathering, one pair of ruined underwear, and a memory of a very stressful experience has been gained.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...