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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by scratching my balls

A fresh TIFU for y'all, since this happened a little more than an hour ago. Mods, I'll gladly delete this if you deem this under the "too vulgar" rule. I also can't seem to find the NSFW tag on mobile, sorry for that.


So I was at a family gathering, both for Easter and for the birthday of my grandma (she's 92 years old and still going strong). I went to the toilet as one normally does, and had a spot on my balls that was a bit itchy. Not unusual, just a slight scratch and it'll go away.

The itch didn't go away, so I scratched some more. Even pulled the good old pinch-'n-roll technique for this one. And after more scratching than I care to admit, a tiny spot on my sack started bleeding. No big deal, it'll stop eventually.

You might already be able to guess what's coming: the bleeding doesn't stop. The wound is as tiny as it can be, but damn it's just pissing blood for some reason. It's not an extreme amount by any means, but there's no way I can get back to the family while it's bleeding this much.

My frustration grows with every minute I need to sit on the toilet to wait for the bleeding to stop. I have used way more toilet paper than I expected for this, and to make matters worse, someone tries to open the door because they need to use the toilet as well. Meanwhile my FUCKING SACK STILL DOESN'T STOP FUCKING BLEEDING. I've been on the toilet for way longer than normal, and the chances of significant family judgement are rising by the second, as are my feelings of stress.

So I quickly put a load of toilet paper in my underwear and get out. I socialise a bit while stressing my ass off about bleeding through my underwear. I sneak out and go upstairs to use the bathroom there, hopefully undisturbed. Luckily my pants survived, but my underwear does have bloody spots. The bleeding luckily slowed down, but it's not stopping yet.

From this point on I was able to take my time and wait for the bleeding to stop, which it did after a few more minutes. Not taking any chances, I put some more clean toilet paper in my underwear and finish up with the gathering (luckily I was about to go home anyways).

I get home and inspect the damage. End result: some blood stains on the inside of my pants, but nothing seems to be visible on the outside. My underwear is ruined though.


TL;DR: I scratched my ballsack to the point of bleeding, and it didn't stop bleeding for way too long. Judgement from everyone at the family easter gathering, one pair of ruined underwear, and a memory of a very stressful experience has been gained.

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