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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by accidentally proposing to my boss during a Zoom meeting with the entire company

So, this happened yesterday, and I’m still debating whether to fake my own death or just live in a cave forever. Buckle up, because this is a wild ride. I (28M) work for a mid-sized tech company, and we’ve been remote for a while. Yesterday was our quarterly all-hands meeting on Zoom, with like 200 people, including the CEO, my team, and my super intimidating boss, Karen (not her real name, but she radiates Karen energy). These meetings are usually boring—slides, KPIs, blah blah—but this time, I managed to turn it into a personal nightmare. Context: I’ve been dating my girlfriend, Emma, for two years, and I’ve been planning to propose. Got the ring, practiced the speech, the whole deal. I was dumb enough to keep the ring box on my desk because I’m paranoid about losing it. Big mistake. The meeting starts, and I’m half-listening, muted, camera off, scrolling Reddit (classic). Karen unmutes me out of nowhere to ask about a project I’m leading. I fumble, turn my camera on, and start rambling. Mid-sentence, my cat, Muffin (a furry agent of chaos), jumps on my desk, knocks over my coffee, and sends the ring box flying into view. It pops open, revealing a shiny diamond ring. The Zoom chat EXPLODES. People think I’m about to propose on the call. I panic, grab the ring, and try to laugh it off, saying, “Haha, no, this isn’t what it looks like!” But my brain short-circuits, and I blurt out, “Karen, it’s not for you, I swear!” Why did I say that? WHY? The entire company goes silent. Karen’s face is a mix of confusion and horror. The CEO coughs. Someone in the chat types, “LMAO WHAT.” I try to recover by explaining it’s for my girlfriend, but the damage is done. The meeting moves on, but the chat is just memes about me proposing to Karen. By the end, someone’s Photoshopped a wedding invite with my face and Karen’s. My inbox is flooded with “congrats” and heart emojis from coworkers I barely know. Emma thinks it’s hilarious but also wants to know why I “proposed” to my boss before her. Karen emailed me this morning saying, “We need to discuss professional boundaries.” I’m pretty sure I’m either fired or getting a weird HR seminar. TL;DR: My cat exposed my engagement ring on a company Zoom call, I accidentally implied I was proposing to my boss, and now I’m the office meme. Send help.

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