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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by eating chia seeds

CW for gross butt stuff.

I just got home a week ago from a semester at university. I ate pretty crappy while at school because I was focused on getting my grades up, so my diet consisted of mostly instant ramen or whatever food the dining hall had. Overall, not much variety, and definitely not a lot of fiber and other good stuff. I’ve had chronic issues with constipation due to not drinking enough water (I forget), and I was pretty stopped up while at university. To the point where I was getting multiple rectal tears and bleeding and had to go to the doctor for a colonoscopy. They didn’t find anything serious, but my doctor did recommend that I try and change my diet to include more fiber and iron.

My parents have started eating pretty healthy after my mom got her gallbladder out a couple of years ago, and our pantry is always stocked with stuff like granola, grape nuts (that really healthy cereal - my dad loves it), and of course, the damned chia seeds. After getting home I decided I would make an effort to eat healthier again, so three days ago I started making myself a bowl of yogurt, granola, and chia seeds for a little extra fiber for breakfast. The serving size of chia seeds on the bag is around 24g, so I put in around 8g to start. Big. Fucking. Mistake.

I’ve been shitting myself near constantly for the past 12 hours, and I woke up this morning feeling even worse. I want to eat something because my stomach is so empty, but eating anything (even broth) makes me feel like I’m going to puke. My mom (after she finished laughing at me) keeps on encouraging me to drink water and electrolytes, but even the thought of swallowing water is revolting. I feel fucking miserable, and I swear I’m never eating those fucking chia seeds ever again. The next time I want to add fiber to my diet I’m just gonna eat broccoli or something like a normal person.

TL;DR: I ate chia seeds after months of eating poorly and now I can’t stop pooping.

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