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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by microwaving a fork at my new job on day one

Started a new job this week. Office is chill, open kitchen, nice people. I was just trying to be normal and not do anything weird

Lunchtime rolls around and I’m already kinda anxious. I brought some leftover pasta, toss it in the microwave, hit start and walk away feeling like a functioning adult

Then I hear these loud popping sounds. Someone goes “yo is something on fire?” I turn around and there’s actual sparks inside the microwave. Like lightning. Full-on fireworks show

I totally forgot I left the metal fork in the container. Just sitting there heating up like a dumb bomb

I panic, rip the microwave open like that’s gonna fix it. Everyone’s staring. One guy’s like “did you really put metal in there?” and I just mumbled “yeah I guess I did”

Break room still smells like burnt plastic and failure. The office manager said it’s not a big deal but I saw her writing something down and now I’m the microwave guy forever

Ate my cold pasta in silence and avoided eye contact for the rest of the day

TLDR first day at my new job I nuked a fork and now everyone knows I’m the guy who almost set the kitchen on fire

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