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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by traumatizing a toddler with my Halloween costume in May

So my sister drops off my 3-year-old nephew at my place while she runs errands. No problem, I love the little guy. He’s obsessed with superheroes right now. I figured I’d surprise him with my old Halloween costume: full Deadpool gear, mask and all.

Except… he didn’t recognize me.

At all.

He took one look at me and screamed like I murdered his dog. Full-on meltdown. Ran into the bathroom, slammed the door, and wouldn’t come out for 30 minutes. I tried everything. I even took off the mask and held up his favorite snack like, “Buddy, it’s Uncle Matt.”

He didn’t believe me. Kept yelling, “Go away bad Spiderman!” over and over. That’s when I realized, this dude doesn’t know Deadpool. He thinks I’m some evil Spider-Man variant here to end his short life.

My sister came back to find him sobbing in the tub with goldfish crackers floating around him. Now I’m banned from "surprising" him until further notice.

TL;DR: Wore my Deadpool costume to entertain my toddler nephew. He thought I was a villain and now possibly has trust issues.

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