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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

So this takes place about a week ago as of my writing this, but I was at ye olde Walmart doing some grocery shopping. I had my headphones in, I was combing the aisles, I was listening to a podcast and I called my mother to ask if I needed to grab anything for the house. She says milk, so I detoured to the dairy section for a gallon, then make my way back to soft drinks and I see one of my favorite drink back in stock, the Cherry Lime Sprite. I put my phone down on the shelf to grab a 12-pack and set them in my cart. At some point in this interaction, a lady doing her shopping behind me notices my phone, the one I literally had in my hand and just set on the shelf, and thinks it's been abandoned and scoops it up to take it to the lost and found all the way across the store. Now I didn't notice it was missing, I had actually been able to end the call with my mother and resume my podcast, only noticing it wasn't with me whenever the episode ended and I couldn't change to the next episode. Naturally, I'm freaking out because my phone is everything, it was a phone I bought straight out (a phone from the ZFlip series, I busted my ass to buy it) and it had pretty much my whole life on it. I manage to track down an employee, who offers to call it. When she does, and employee from up front answers, saying, "Yes, hello, this is Customer Service, someone brought your phone to the front!"

I leg it up to the front as fast as I can, and make it to the customer service counter. I tell them my phone was brought here and they were like "Tell us a little bit about the phone" and I'm telling them "it's black, a flip phone, has a Stitch popsocket"

They tell me "Yeah, that's sounding a lot like a phone we just got in" but because it's an expensive phone, they're worried I'm just saying it's mine when it isn't, and they need me to describe the lockscreen background.

Here is where I freeze.

My phone background is actually kinda funny, but only in a fandom way. I had changed it after the Daredevil: Born Again episode "Isle of Joy" aired where Matt goes to see Bullseye in prison and their rather violent conversation takes place (iykyk). It's a horny ode to that episode, where it's a Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs with the entirety of the chart just being "getting mocked and having my hair pulled by Matt Murdock."

And I realize I have to explain this to the employee to get my phone back.

Which I do, saying "it's a hierarchy of needs; or rather, just one" while this old person is just scrutinizing my phone lockscreen to try and make it make sense. She then shoves it back into my hands, going "yep, sounds right!" She won't make any kind of eye contact with me. And well, I can't blame her.

TL;DR: lost my phone at Walmart, had to explain the horny meme that was the lockscreen to get it back. Got my phone back, dignity to be determined.

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