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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by making a random old woman think I was planning to get freaky at prom

Obligatory this-didn’t-happen-literally-today disclaimer.

My high school prom was about a year ago, and I bought a black jumpsuit covered in gold sequins for the occasion. I also bought a headpiece from Amazon that essentially amounted to a black-and-gold flower crown. I absolutely loved the outfit, but I’m extremely short - like 5’1” on my tippy toes short - so the jumpsuit ended up being a good few inches too long for me. Luckily, there was a tailor five minutes from my house, so my mom and I stopped by one afternoon after doing some shopping together. I changed into the jumpsuit, and as the tailor was pinning what he needed to, an elderly woman walked in. She started gushing about the jumpsuit, and my mom and I ended up chatting with her about my plans for prom.

Here is where I should mention that I’m autistic. Only Level 1, but it still does affect my life on a daily basis, most notably giving me sensory processing issues and making me incredibly socially awkward, especially in the presence of strangers. So my mom and this old lady were discussing my prom outfit, and they mentioned the flower crown, which happened to be extremely itchy and triggered my sensory processing issues. So this lady was like, “oh my gosh that outfit will be so cute” and I said:

“Yeah, let’s see how long it stays on though.”

I cannot stress this enough, I was referring to the itchy flower crown and nothing else. But obviously, that’s not how it came across, and there was a beat of extremely painful silence where both my mom and the old woman looked at me in utter horror, and then I realized and started tripping over my words trying to clarify what I meant. But the damage was done, and the conversion dropped off into awkward silence while I changed out of the jumpsuit, and as soon as we paid, I ran out of that shop like my feet were on fire.

TL;DR: My socially inept ass phrased something so poorly that I managed to imply to an elderly stranger that I was gonna go full slut mode at prom.

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