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TIFU by roasting someone

Obligatory this is an old FU, so long ago I dont really feel the shame for it anymore and now it's doing the rounds when I wanna make people feel better after they effed up or just to get a laugh at parties.

Also english isnt my first language and I have a tendency to put dots and comma's at the completely wrong spots... but I'm not feeling up for double and triple checking myself so please cut me some slack, I'm tired and just trying to cheer some people up (hopefully).

I wasn't gonna post this, but since there is a lot of unbelievable AI slop flooding this sub I thought I'd try to fight it a little bit with an actual story.

So here it goes.

Back in the day when I was considerably younger and maybe just a smidge more stupid I used to work in a supermarket doing the stock and restock for the vegetable department. Back then it was an awesome job because I could do it while being considerably high and the vegetable restock was awesome because you swapped full crates around and stocked some old vegetables on top of the new switched crate. So less risk of letting glass jars with mushy carrots or pees fall while being completely zoned out.

But as all supermarket jobs tend to go it lost its shine.... fast. For me this happened due to two reasons, reason one being it didn't pay enough and they were real assholes about plus hours and what days I could and couldn't work. And two this absolute DICK of a floormanager. Talk about a guy feeling so insecure he has to hide behind being a manager in a supermarket to lord his cuntyness over kids just trying to make a buck. It's been more than a decade and I can still see his face and slicked back hair in front of me while typing this. I'll skip over the 2 page paragraph of what a douchmonkey this dude was and hope you'll trust me for my word.

So I quit, I was done with the shenanigans and the work lost it's shine. I put in my resignation and tried to quietly work out my remaining month. (I did get up to some petty pranks to "get even" with the place but I'll not bore you with those details now, since you're all probably waiting for the fuck up so here it goes.)

The dude I worked with at the vegetable department was a nice guy, we had a bromance going and nearly always worked together. Overall really stand up guy who was obviously bummed I was gonna leave. So after a particularly shitty day he asked my why I was quitting and he was expressing his sadness to see me go. So me being young and not knowing better (and feeling angry because of the shitty day) started absolutely RIPPING in to the manager, talked about how he probably got bullied growing up, his stupid hair, personality, his mom may or may not have made some spectacular guest appearances in my roast. I think without to much exaggeration I might've gone on about 15+ minutes. And I know you cheeky bastards think this is gonna end up with the manager standing behind me and hearing everything?

No, it was worse.

The colleague was kinda laughing and smirking at my roast and asked at this point... wait... which manager are we talking about? (There were multiple dickwads employed there) and I promptly answered with the name at which point the dude went white.... and stammered out: oh... that's my brother man.

As you can imagine I was mortified and already so deep in I couldn't back paddle. So I stammered something along the lines of a weak apology and said my goodbyes. While feeling like the world's biggest douche.

Obviously the remaining days where less chummy and I never saw the dude again.

TL;DR: I roasted the absolute fuck out of a manager to his kid brother without my prior knowledge of them being family.

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