TIFU by accidentally getting my neighbor’s cat high and becoming the villain of the neighborhood Facebook group

Yesterday I was cooking dinner and left my balcony door cracked open. My neighbor’s cat, who I’ll call Chairman Meow because he basically rules our apartment complex, just strolled in like he pays rent.

I didn’t think much of it. I was frying onions, scrolling TikTok, just vibing. Then I remembered I had some “special” brownies in a container on the counter from the night before. I went to grab one… and the container was already open.

The cat ate half.

I immediately panicked. I googled “can cats get high” and my search history now makes me look like Pablo Escobar’s veterinarian. I wrapped the cat in a blanket burrito and rushed him to the emergency vet. The vet tech looked at me like I just tried to assassinate Garfield.

Six hundred dollars later, the cat is totally fine. Actually better than fine, because now the entire neighborhood knows about it thanks to the Facebook group. My neighbor posted something like “Some irresponsible person got my sweet Chairman Meow high on DRUGS. Be careful who you live next to!”

Now half the comments think I’m a menace to society and the other half are tagging their friends saying “this is peak apartment living.”

The kicker is that Chairman Meow came back this morning and scratched my door until I let him in. This dude is literally trying to break into my apartment for round two.

So now I’m the neighborhood’s accidental cat drug dealer. TL;DR: don’t leave your brownies out