Skip to main content

TIFU by overly encouraging a poo.

I have issues with constipation due to medication and last night, I realized it had been a few days since I last had a proper bowel movement. The night before, I decided to take a laxative and see what happens. After the promised 12 hours passed and nothing, I went for the prunes. I don’t even like them but they’ve always done the trick. More hours gone by and nothing happened. It’s now late afternoon and I’m in pain. It hurt to breathe but I still couldn’t make it happen. I then remembered artificial sweeteners can have a laxative effect if you eat enough of it. Off I go to CVS and acquire a nice assortment of sugar free candy. I wasted no time chowing down. Not long after, I had a nice relieving poo, followed by a second one. I was so happy. Then, it all went wrong. I think everything kicked in at the same time. I couldn’t stop going. It was like I had prepped for a colonoscopy. The horrors persisted until I went to bed. I managed to sleep for about three hours before the final round. The whole ordeal ended with some amazing, earth shattering gas. My muscles are sore now as i type this but it’s over and hey, I lost a few pounds. Lesson learned.

TL;DR Tried multiple ways to relieve constipation and they all compounded resulting in a really bad time.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...