TIFU by trying to fix my garbage disposal with chopsticks

My garbage disposal got jammed yesterday after dinner. I could hear something rattling inside it, so naturally, my first instinct was to grab a chopstick and poke around like a genius. Spoiler: bad idea.

The chopstick snapped. So I thought, “Okay, maybe two chopsticks will work.” They didn’t. They both broke, now adding more wood chunks to the jam. I thought about tongs, but they were too wide. Then I decided to be “clever” and use the handle of a wooden spoon.

The disposal started humming again… and sucked the spoon in. The noise it made sounded like a woodchipper being possessed. My entire sink started shaking like a washing machine. I panicked and turned it off, but the handle was gone forever.

When the plumber came today, he looked inside, sighed, and said, “You tried to fix this yourself, didn’t you?” He pulled out what looked like a blender smoothie made of bamboo and shame.

TL;DR: Tried to fix my garbage disposal using chopsticks and a spoon handle, created a wood pulp smoothie instead.