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TIFU making a sketchy joke in front of someone with Downs Syndome by accident

Im in a college art class. I SUCK at art. My professor knows this and often makes really nasty comments about my attempts at art. The other week she said “Well, you followed the prompt”. That’s it. Whatever, I’m doing my best.

There is a man with Downs Syndrome in our class that is always accompanied by an aid. The man is really nice and everyone likes him, including me.

I was talking to a classmate about the drawing I was working on, and I was basically saying it’s very bad but I’m trying my best. This classmate said “Well you made it, so the professor should think it’s special in its own way”. She said it in a joking way because we both know I have zero artistry.

I loudly, without thinking, said “Oh she thinks I’m special alright!”. Moments later it hit me. I just called myself special in front of a man with Downs Syndrome and his aide.

He didn’t seem to hear it but the aide gave me a nasty look. I’m not ableist, but it sure sounded like I am. I was mortified.

TLDR I called myself special in front of a man with Downs Syndrome Syndrome and now they probably think I’m ableist

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