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TIFU: Arena breakout ended my five year long relationship and my job

To give a little background info, I’m completely addicted to Arena Breakout. I play raids all day, every day. On average, I spend about 8 hours DAILY grinding Farm and TV Station just to hunt the bosses. It’s my deepest, darkest guilty pleasure. No one knows about this obsession… especially how I feel about Ajax and Derwin. Ajax with that red beret, commanding his guards like a total dom… and Derwin, that sneaky broadcaster type, always tracking you down with his enhanced AI, voice lines hitting different. I keep folders of boss screenshots. I rewatch kill cams over and over. Slow motion. Edging to their aggression. Gooning for hours while queuing raids, imagining them pinning me down in the lockdown zone. It’s not just gameplay anymore… it’s something way freakier. One day, I was supposed to be at work, but I called in sick for a “boss spawn event.” I was deep in a solo raid on Farm, kitted out, heart racing, when Ajax spawned at the Motel. I let him and his guards chase me… didn’t even fight back at first. Just hid, breathed heavy, watched them patrol. My girlfriend came home early, walked in, and saw me… pants down, phone propped up replaying a clip of Ajax throwing smoke while Derwin’s voicelines played in the background on max volume. I tried to close the tabs fast, but she saw everything. The screenshots. The slowed-down boss death animations. Me fully edged out, muttering “yes daddy Ajax, broadcast me Derwin…” She yanked the phone, saw a close-up of Ajax’s model with the caption I’d saved: “breed me in the stables 🤤” and Derwin’s radar dish scene looping. She screamed “ARE YOU GOONING TO THE BOSSES AGAIN?!” I’m currently sitting outside on the curb, kit lost in raid, relationship zeroed.

TL;DR: Not sure if I’ll ever recover… but at least I have Ajax dominating Farm and Derwin calling the shots. Time to queue another raid.

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