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TIFU by maybe being a stupid anime nerd and missing every possible hint from a hot girl

this happened back in sophomore/junior year of college, but I (25ftm) have recently been having "wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat"-esque feelings from possibly being the dumbest person on the planet.

so I was working on a show with this girl, Mindy, for our school. it was a rare time of me being on the performance side, and she was one of the makeup artists. myself, the other performers, Mindy, and the rest of the makeup team would spend a lot of time together, perfecting outer-space drag makeup and hair and wig styling, either during the makeup majors' classes or random assigned days. we ended up bonding over some youtubers and anime, built up a rapport, and generally had a silly goofy fun time through rehearsals and the performance.

the show went on and closed, and after we would still chat and say hi in between classes. somehow we made plans for her to come over to my place and hang out. now, one of the shows we had talked about was neon genesis: evangelion, which I was obsessed with at the time. just, y'know, a super fun and happy show about how cool it is to fight in a big mech suit and save the world. so I suggested we watch the even happier movie, end of evangelion. she was game, it was cool, we had some snacks and chatted a bit more then she went home. we'd still chat, were in similar friend groups, but didn't hang out again (mostly because 1. I was the biggest hermit at our school and 2. I was on the brink of having my life fall apart). we had a class or two together after that, were always friendly, would send memes and such back and forth on occasion, then things kind of petered out. I sent her a message a week or so ago out of the blue about a youtuber we liked coming back from the dead, and we chatted for a bit back like we were in college again.

it has just now occurred to me, several years later, I don't think Mindy wanted to watch anime. I try to never assume anything of anyone, cause I don't want to be an egotistical asshole, but I'm beginning to speculate that Mindy did not want to watch anything at all when she asked to come over to my apartment in which I was living alone. Mindy was also a... hobbyist botanist... and when I would swing by to support her small business endeavors, there would always be a little something extra included, or a cute doodle on a bag. which I figured was just a thing she would do for all customers, because who wouldn't love a drawing of PenPen on their baggie?

please tell me I'm being dumb and that I didn't miss probably a million obvious signs that Mindy was interested in me. if she said she wanted to come over and watch a show, that's all that means, right?

tl;dr: A cute girl invited herself to my place to watch anime, and I was so hooked by a hyperfixation that the idea of "Netflix and chill" never even crossed my mind. I'm just glad I didn't suggest we watch Plague Dogs, and I'm finding it harder and harder to fight my surprise autism diagnosis

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