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TIFU got overly emotional and crashed out on a new guy I’m seeing

I met a guy online in another country 4 months ago and we’ve connected really well. We had so many likes and wants in common and I really thought he was the one.

When we first started talking he asked me if I am talking to other people and I told him I was talking to two other people but since meeting and connecting with you, I will be prioritizing you but won’t cut off the rest until I know we’re getting serious. (This is an important part remember for later)

After a few months of talking we decided to meet, he invited me to his city and I flew there. Everything was dreamy, he took care of me, had gifts ready, made the plans and took me everywhere. We spent 5 days together and I couldn’t help but fall further for him.

When I was there my plan was to ask where he sees this going because I have anxiety and need to clarify my stance at all times. The conversation did not happen because actions spoke louder than the words when I was there I was soso happy.

A couple weeks ago was when I got back. Our conversations were slow but we are busy working with life and everything else going on, we were missing each other a lot and we still made time to check on each other every single day.

Yesterday morning I got my period and started getting really hormonal and emotional. He messaged me and I asked him “I think we should take a break I feel like we’re both busy” he asked me to explain and I wrote a long paragraph of how I’m missing him and I’m anxiously attached to him that when texts are slow and I don’t get to see him on top of that I tend to over think so I asked him maybe we should take a break so I don’t read into things. Then I asked where do you see this going (NOW REFLECTING THIS DIDNT MAKE SENSE TO ME TOO. I LOOK CRAZY I KNOW)

Now I know this may seem odd but I had no idea why I said that to him wtf and he didn’t respond at all that was in the morning. At night after 9 hours I messaged him and said I guess no reply is a response. And he replied saying sorry I’m at work I’ll reply later. After a couple hours he responded and by this time I was reallyyyyy drunk I had almost a whole bottle of wine. He replied saying that we are still getting to know each other, we’ve only met once and he’s still deciding on what this should be for him since it’s fairly new and asked me what I am looking for from this?

I said I want you to be my husband.

He was astonished and said you barely know me and alll these things that were kinds not nice and I spiralled. I asked him to call me because this was all happening over texts and voice notes. And he said no he wouldn’t call me because he’s going live.

I spiralled even more and texted him 5 times. Told him I needed him to have capacity for my depth and all this embarrassing things. I didn’t call but I just over explained my feelings and said I can’t believe he’d rather go live than have this conversation.

Then he just didn’t respond. The next morning, I woke up no response. I blocked him off everything.

At 5 pm that day I unblocked him and messaged him like wtf that was so rude of you not to reply and he’s like well you have me blocked off everywhere and you need help, he said he never wants anything serious with me at all. I should seek help and he doesn’t have to reply to me if he doesn’t want to I don’t own him. He said any woman of his doesn’t talk to other men either. I got a call from a friend named Dom and he thought I have a Dom. Also called me out on that too.

I apologized again and unblocked him. He said he would never add me ever again. I left it alone.

Today I woke up and messaged him a voice note just telling him I reflected on my actions and it was driven by alcohol and period symptoms but there was no excuse and I own up to it and will use this as a learning experience. I didn’t mean to mess things up I just wanted some clarity and it came out the wrong way.

I messed this one up so bad I’m embarrassed and feel so mentally unstable for doing that.

Do you think he’ll ever come back?

TL;DR - I got overly emotional to a new person I’m dating and he thinks I’m sick, he was one of the best people I’ve dated and I seen a future with him and he cut me off now.

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