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TIFU. I screwed up by being too kind, naive and trusting.

TL;DR: At this moment, I am writing this post with the most terrible disappointment in myself and in the person to whom I trusted so much. I'm 16, and for 4 years I've been friends with my former classmate, let's call her Jessica. Initially, before we started communicating, Jessica and I had a huge fight, but after that we became inseparable.

Yes, she really helped me, as I helped her. I'm not asking for support or direct advice, I just need to talk it out and be reassured that gullibility is ruining my life.

So, Jessica is a very peculiar and not versatile person. She hasn't had much luck with guys, but she has had and still has plenty of attention from the opposite sex.

So, how did it all begin? I had terrible fights with my boyfriend (everything is fine now), and Jessica, naturally, listened to it, interfered in my relationship, made decisions for me, although I didn’t notice it before. It all started when I noticed that she puts terribly heavy pressure on me mentally when I refuse something, thinking about my own comfort, which I had not done before. Isolated incidents turned into constant occurrences, and the hysterics became more and more annoying. In the end, I spoke to her when I was on edge, it was a more personal situation, and in response I received that, it turns out, she, “defending” me in front of her friend, called me stupid. And the guy's best friend told me that she said bad things about me in front of him! This was the final straw for my disappointment in people and friendship.

I'm terribly sorry that at moments like these my trust in other people is undermined. Everything is great with my boyfriend, but I notice that sometimes I start to withdraw, retreat into myself and ignore the world. I don’t communicate with Jessica at the moment, she doesn’t feel guilty, she didn’t try to find out why I think one way or another when I spoke to her. I suppose this is the end, but I don't feel anything. I feel disappointment and self-hatred, but I don’t feel hatred, regret or any other feelings towards her. Perhaps the cumulative effect exists for a reason, but now I have absolutely nothing in common with her, and this is even starting to make me happy?

Anyway, I just wanted to talk it out and at least get some understanding.

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