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TIFU by sending our biggest client a spreadsheet that included my hidden "dictator rating" column for him

TL;DR: I didn't delete my hidden "insult column" from a work spreadsheet before sending it to our biggest client. He unhid it and read that I called him a narcissistic man-baby.

This is happening right now. I am literally typing this on my phone in the handicap stall of the 4th-floor bathroom because I physically cannot bring myself to walk back to my desk. My hands are shaking so bad I can barely type this.

So, for context, I work in supply chain. It's boring, data-heavy, and involves dealing with vendors who think they are the center of the universe. To keep myself from going insane over the last two years, I started adding a personal touch to the master contact spreadsheet.

I created a column at the very beginning (Column A) that I labeled "PITA."

It stands for Pain In The Ass.

It's a simple 1-5 scale. 1 is a saint, 5 is the

kind of guy who calls you at 4:55 PM on a Friday to complain about a font size. Next to it, I have a "Notes" column (Column B) where I write things I can never say out loud. Things like "Check his math, he's an idiot" or "Do not offer the discount, he's bluffing" or "Asshole."

I keep these columns HIDDEN. If you open the Excel sheet, it starts at Column C. It looks totally professional. I've been doing this for years. It's my little coping mechanism.

Today, my boss rushes over. He's frantic. Our biggest client (let's call him "Gary") needs the Q4 raw data immediately for some internal audit they're doing. My boss is like, "Just send the master file, don't worry about formatting, he needs it NOW."

I'm in "good employee" mode. I open the file. I filter for Q4. I hit Save As.

Now, here is where my brain short-circuited. In my head, "Hidden" meant "Gone." I didn't delete the columns. I just saved the file with them still hidden, thinking Gary - a man who struggles to unmute himself on Zoom - would never notice.

I attach the file. I send it. I feel productive.

Twenty minutes later. The email comes in.

It's from Gary. Cc'ing my boss. Cc'ing my boss's boss.

Subject: Clarification on Column A?

The body of the email was just a screenshot.

Gary had opened the file. Gary, for some godforsaken reason, decided to "Select All" and "Unhide."

The screenshot shows his name. Next to his name, in bright red because I use conditional formatting like a moron, is the number 5.

And next to that, in the notes column, is my note from last week: "Narcissistic man-baby. Tell him the inventory is locked if he asks for an expedite."

He didn't even write any text in the email. Just the screenshot and a question mark.

My boss stood up from his desk about 30 seconds after that email hit. I saw him look at his screen, look at me, and his face just went white. He didn't even say anything, he just pointed to his office.

I grabbed my stomach, and ran to the bathroom. I've been here for 20 minutes. I can hear people walking in and out. I think I have to move to a new country lol.

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