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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by slapping a bearded man’s ass because he was dressed like my wife.

​This happened yesterday ​My wife was wearing this obnoxious, neon-orange north face puffer jacket. It’s the kind of jacket you can see from a different zip code.

We were at Target; she went to the candle aisle while I headed to electronics.

​I finished up, walked toward the candles, and spotted the back of that orange jacket leaning over a bottom shelf. Being the "funny" husband, I decided to sneak up, gave a solid, playful "good game" slap on the butt, and whispered, "Found you, nerd." ​The person stood up. ​It was not my wife. It was a muscular man with a full beard wearing the exact same neon jacket.

​I froze. My hand was literally still hovering in mid-air. He just looked at me, deadpan, and said: "I mean, it’s a nice jacket, but maybe check for the beard next time?"

​I didn't even apologize. My brain just short-circuited. I did a 180 and walked straight out of the store. I didn't even wait for my wife or the stuff we were supposed to buy. ​Ten minutes later, I got a text from her: "I saw the whole thing from the next aisle. I’m not coming out until I stop crying laughing. Have fun with your new boyfriend."

​TL;DR: Mistook a bearded man in a neon jacket for my wife. Smacked his ass in public. He was surprisingly chill, but I felt embarassed.

​Edit/ Update for those who are asking: RIP my inbox, I didn't expect this to blow up. For those asking how the guy knew about the jacket- this thing is an eye-searing, neon orange that you can probably see from orbit.

​When he turned around and saw my face going through the five stages of grief, he looked past me and saw my wife standing about 10 feet away. Since she was wearing the exact same "human traffic cone" outfit, he instantly put two and two together. He actually pointed at his jacket and then at hers while shaking his head, like he couldn't believe his bad luck in picking that specific color today.

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